A Disordered Mind

Monday, February 17, 2014

I think a big part of our mental problems are from television and novels…

…what we think about what it is we are viewing(mainly) and poor dietary habits. It is clear to me some people simply stopped eating or they forget to eat and are starving and don’t realize it because they are connected to people who are well fed which shuts off the appetite tothe person connected to them. High fat diets are the major culprit.

I recently allowed my carbohydrates to get very low. I had eaten a lot of fat and reduced my caloric intake to burn up the fat while eating adequate protein. Recently while reducing my carbohydrates,, I became lethargic, my thoughts were erratic, I grew paranoid, and felt as if I were near death until Saturday when I purchased some Serious Mass containing 253 grams of carbs per serving. After ingesting just 125 grams I started to feel better and after ingesting 300 grams of carbs my brain was back on duty. I proved to myself fat isn’t where it’s at.

Dennis the Menace, Mr. Wilson wants a camera, he places an ad in the paper…

…went to Wilson Park for a Picnic, had a vision of a samovar or tea pot before went there…

Kennedy’s Assassinationn, my father’s suicide…

Sunday, February 16, 2014

Quote from Castle on the Hudson…

“If I take chances, it’s because I want to”.

“secrets, from The Trial by Kafka…

inherited. The can't use new people for it, the rules governing how the various grades of officials are painted are so many and varied, and, above all, so secret that no-one outside of certain families even knows them. In the drawer there, for instance, I've got my father's notes, which I don't show to anyone. But you're only able to paint judges if you know what they say. Although, even if I lost them no-one could ever dispute my position because of all the rules I just carry round in my head.

Kafka, Franz. The Trial (Kindle Locations 2044-2047). Feedbooks.

"You remarked earlier that the court cannot be approached with reasoned proofs, you later restricted this to the open court, and now you go so far as to say that an innocent man needs no assistance in court.

Kafka, Franz. The Trial (Kindle Locations 2063-2065). Feedbooks.

This is the place that was broken into, not the Queen’s Castle, broken piece of glass…

Kay's History Personality: This address was robbed at gunpoint…

…stabbed in the leg, a john or copycat killer…climbed up to the second story maybe…the front porch area was not there, added later.

Hospitals I recognize

Jamaica Hosp - cocaine

Floating - ?

Flushing – flushing, hair pulling, trichotillamania

Long Island -

AH Wade – child molestation?

Baptist Med Cnter – Linden MA connection -

Bay Ridge

Blackwell – Susan Blackwell buried in Hyde, NC

Bloomingdale

Brooklyn Homeo – Women’s

Dcotor’s – Artificial Intelligence

Fitch – shop lifting hardware

Flatbush –

Gotham -

Halcyon – Sleep problems

Prospect -- hallucination

Hillcrest - alcoholism

Kinickerbocker -

St. Cecilia -

New York City

Fordham – live near it…

Castle on the Hudson, Picnic, Phantom Farmhouse, Silent Snow, Secret Snow…

Phantom Farmhouse and Silent Snow, Secret Snow; Castle on the Hudson and The Trial. I think the viewer of this episode of Night Gallery was trying to get his parents or caretakers to whip him, so he could move on through the content of his mind or brain…The person could have been a patient in a mental hopsital, the film Nuts also comes to mind.

Friday, February 14, 2014

A work in progress…

…eyes close together help eyes far apart. I am working with shadowing here. I screwed up my nose when I put the white modeling clay on my nose thinking it would stream line. Not so, it got bigger. That told me there is something to light and shadow in the brain, so I created this image from another to help undo what I did. It works but it has to be done consistently.

This is one or both of the Lyons who lived in Hyde County temporarily while they were erecting the weather radar…

Donna and Godfrey Lyons, they both bumped me up…Thank you now stop trying to steal my property. The second image is the upstairs. NOW LEAVE ME ALONE.

Thursday, February 13, 2014

I think this would be the novel read sometime between 1949 and now…

Snowbound: The Tragic Story of the Donner Party by David Lavender — Reviews, Discussion, Bookclubs, Lists

Twelve Monkeys says it all…

Twelve Monkeys IMDb Quotes

Kay's History Personality: Why is this suddenly happening to me, I reconnected with a part of my mind from which I had been separated, likely at Crabtree Valley Mall…

Twelve Monkeys film Brad Pitt, Bruce Willis and Madeline Stowe…

Jeffrey Goines: There's the television. It's all right there - all right there. Look, listen, kneel, pray. Commercials! We're not productive anymore. We don't make things anymore. It's all automated. What are we *for* then? We're consumers, Jim. Yeah. Okay, okay. Buy a lot of stuff, you're a good citizen. But if you don't buy a lot of stuff, if you don't, what are you then, I ask you? What? Mentally *ill*. Fact, Jim, fact - if you don't buy things - toilet paper, new cars, computerized yo-yos, electrically-operated sexual devices, stereo systems with brain-implanted headphones, screwdrivers with miniature built-in radar devices, voice-activated computers...

Jeffrey Goines: When I was institutionalized, my brain was studied exhaustively in the guise of mental health. I was interrogated, I was x-rayed, I was examined *thoroughly*.
[turns head and coughs]
Jeffrey Goines: Then, they took everything about me and put it into a computer where they created this model of my mind. Yes! Using that model they managed to generate every thought I could possibly have in the next, say, 10 years. Which they then filtered through a probability matrix of some kind to - to determine everything I was gonna do in that period. So you see, she knew I was gonna lead the Army of the Twelve Monkeys into the pages of history before it ever even occurred to me. She knows everything I'm ever gonna do before I know it myself. How's that?

Why this suddenly happened to me, I reconnected with a part of my mind from which I had been separated…updated

"Rod Serling's Night Gallery" The Phantom Farmhouse/Silent Snow, Secret Snow (TV Episode 1971) – IMDb

Snow Storms in the 1960’s

…man is a mighty creative beast. He will create whatever he has to for survival, even when there is no fear of threat. These elements came together, and my purchasing the bread might have been the omen to what was to come…some volcanic eruption somewhere, an ensuing snow storm or volcanic ash while making bread…Donner Party?

Incoming…

“you see what’s happening”, “What are we to do”…

“I don’t know”, “I know”, “we keep our traps shut that’s what we do, at least until we can get out of it”…

I have never seen nor even heard of the Thriller series and rarely viewed Night Gallery…

This is the style of pajamas I purchased at Victoria’s Secret at Crabtree Valley in Raleigh, NC, April 1992…

They were Kelly Green but the exact same design. I had just gotten out of prison. I went to Dunderbak’s, had a meal and a glass of wine and did some shopping. I purchased a large canvas bag, the pj’s and a robe at a Paris ?shop. I also purchased Firenzi jeans and a top. I had no clothing except a few worn out things I was wearing before I went to prison.