…there is a place in France with an alcove which contains a statue, I have it got to find it.
Friday, February 8, 2013
Smooth operator…
…now we know that Dean Radin was wrong…
We don’t believe that
9/11 is hokey
let’s get this novel moving Kay
shhh, people are sleeping
Thursday, February 7, 2013
This may be the book that enabled me to discover The Woman in Green had hypnotized my mother and me…
Lucid Dreaming - Stephen LaBerge - Google Books
…I read a book on Lucid Dreaming and how to do it but I thought it was by a female author. I read it in 1988.
This book may be in here, I have not read it but Rank has come up many times…
Escape from Evil - Ernest Becker - Google Books
…I don’t have a copy so I cannot tell for sure.
Wednesday, February 6, 2013
Anatomy of Human Destruction, Eric Fromm…
…page 199, in short deprivation is the cause of disease, mental illness, destructiveness, ad infinitum…
Page 329 ~ taking apart phones and radios, the evolution of Fromm’s necrophilous destructiveness…updated
The Anatomy of Human Destructiveness - Erich Fromm - Google Books
…”necrophilous destructiveness is the passion to tear apart living structures”. This book was published in 1973 and may well be the driving force involved in the increasing evidence I see for the development and creation of ideas like, the Bionic Woman, Six Million Dollar Man, and a host of other super human characters who are leading us into human destruction for the sake of curiosity. It has been a huge driving force in the medical profession since the days of Vesalius and Leonardo Da Vinci, maybe even as far back as Aristotle.
It should suffice our curiosity that man is made of skin, muscle, bones and nerves created from proteins and minerals and should be tampered with as little as necessary. However his thinking, when running amuck, should surely be taken apart and thoroughly examined.
It seems our country has become a stomping grounds for those seeking revenge against those who have wronged them in the form of amassing millions of dollars but inflicting this harm onto innocents. They are not responsible for our problems.
Tuesday, February 5, 2013
Places I’ve lived…
Places I’ve Lived
1954-1961 Portsmouth, VA
1961-1967 Chesapeake, VA
1967-1973 Engelhard, NC
1973-1974 Greenville, NC
1974-1975 US Army
1975 June, Engelhard, home
1975 July, Engelhard, cabin
1975 September, East Carolina Univ
1975 October, Dickinson Ave, Roy Minton, Greenville
1975 December, Trailer, Greenville
1976 February, London Inn, Greenville
1976 April, trailer, Greenville
1977 April, Holly Street, Greenville
1977 August, Glendale Court Apts, Greenville
1979 Raleigh, NC, NorthHaven Apts
1980 Raleigh, NC, Loft Apartments
1981 Raleigh, NC, Hazelwood Dr
1982 Cary, NC, Circle Dr
1983 Raleigh, NC, Sunrise Ave
1983 Raleigh, NC, Cabarrus St
1984 Raleigh, Circle Ct
1985 Cary, NC
1985 Raleigh, NC, Sunrise Ave
1986 Engelhard, NC
1988 Washington, NC
1989 Greenville, NC, Country, Freestone Rd
1990 Greenville, NC, Country
1990 May, Engelhard, NC
1990 August, Greenville, NC
1991 October, Engelhard, NC
1991 November, Greenville, NC, homeless, hotels
1992 January, Goldsboro, NC, Waynesboro House
1992 March, homeless
1992 October, Raleigh, NC
1992 October, homeless, hotels
1993 January, Wake Forest, NC
1993 January, Raleigh, NC, homeless, hotels
1993 February, Raleigh, NC, Ark shelter
1993 March, Chapel Hill, NC, IFC Community shelter
1993 May, Chapel Hill, NC, Cobb Terrace
1993 June, homeless, hotels
1993 September, Raleigh, NC, Ark shelter
1994 January, Raleigh, NC, Woodburn Dr
1994 April, Raleigh, NC, Ark shelter
1994 May, Raleigh, NC, Jones Street
1994 June, Raleigh, NC, Salvation Army Shelter
1994 July, homeless, streets
1994 October, Raleigh, NC, Woodburn Ave
1994 November, Raleigh, NC, Ark shelter
1995 March, Engelhard, NC
1995 November, Greenville, NC, hotels
1995 December, Wilmington, NC, Salvation Army Shelter
1996 February, homeless
1996 June, Chapel Hill, NC, IFC Community Shelter
1996 July, homeless
1996 November, Engelhard, NC, Mattamuskeet Village
1997 February, Engelhard, NC, Golden Street
1997 April, Carrboro, NC
1998 January, Engelhard, NC, Golden St
1998 February, Engelhard, NC Mattamuskeet Village
1998 May, Engelhard, NC, 264
1998 June, homeless, lived in barn
1998 September, Carrboro, NC
1999 April, Engelhard, NC, motel
1999 May, Washington, NC, Options shelter
1999 June Carrboro, NC
1999 Chapel Hill, NC, my own place.
Cars I’ve Owned
1972-74 1967 Volkswagon Beetle
1974 1971 MGB GT hardtop blue
1974 1965 Mustang Convertible
1976 1975 Corolla GT
1977 Plymouth Fury III
1978 Chevy Camaro, Dodge Truck, Honda Prelude
1982 Chevy Van
1985 Plymouth Belvedere
1986 Ford Escort Pony
1993-95
1982 No vehicle
1993-95 December, ‘93 to November of ’95, No Vehicle
1995 Ford Escort GT
Sunday, January 14, 2007, Movies I’ve seen…
…when I constructed this list I was going through the Movie Hound. A few years after constructing it, I realized many of the movies I listed I had never seen but the titles were familiar to me. Since then I have come to realize I have psychic connections to probably lots of people in various States I have visited and many of these films likely came from them. Some of these people may have been in psychiatric facilities. Some of these connections with some of these people were taken to California, I know that for sure.
I decided to bold the movies that I could remember or at least when I read the title it would bring forth images. Keep in mind these are movies I have seen over the past 40 years. It is easy for me, maybe not the reader, to see how they have at one time or another, influenced my thinking and behavior. I'm not saying you should not watch or enjoy a movie but I am saying I was almost a couch potato, too much is too much and it can and does influence your thinking. Conduct your own experiment if you do not believe me.
When you consider the effects these movies can have on your physiology, that is a lot of wear and tear, especially on the heart.
There was a period of about 7 years when I did not watch TV at all. I estimate that I have seen at least 3500-5000 movies, including movies made for TV, sitcoms and TV series, like Twilight Zone, Outer Limits, Lost in Space, Time Tunnel, the Flying Nun, Leave it to Beaver, Dennis the Menace, etc., that were weekly programs. I would guess that the average person may watch at the most 1-2 movies per month, that is the average middle class or upper middle class person. I was employed for more than 20 years and most of the jobs did not require me to take home my work.
This would all be fine if I were a writer. I am not. I do believe I inherited this habit and there is possibly some reason that person was watching the TV so much, as it does obscure one's life, one's reality. I was not choosey about what I watched as it was also my escape from reality.
Age Of Innocence, Fatal Attraction, Disclosure, Officer And Gentleman, Indecent Proposal, 48 Hours, Agnes Of God, China Syndrome, Manhattan Murder Mystery, Twelve Angry Men, Blink, Revenge, Last Of The Mohicans, Witches Of Eastwick, China Moon, Twelve Monkeys, Air Force One, The King And I, Casablanca, It Could Happen To You, Look Who's Talking, The Piano, Coming Home, The Good Son, Mask, The Masking, Vampire In Brooklyn, Purple Rain, The Abyss, 2001 A Space Odyssey, Jaws 1234, Ghost, Seventh Sign, Strip Tease, Carrie, Fried Green Tomatoes, Don Juan, Desire Under the Elms, God Father, Scent Of A Woman, Gone With The Wind, Psycho 1,2, Mrs. Doubtfire, Tootsie, Rain Man, Philadelphia Story, The Graduate, Peter Pan, Snow White Night Of Terror, Terminator 1,2, Robocop, Aliens 1234, Alien Resurrection, Lawn Mower Man, Pretty Woman, Born Free, Silence Of The Lambs, Ten Commandments, Moses, Exodus, Noah's Ark, Vincent, Rocky Horror Picture Show, Hunt For Red October, Poseidon Adventure, Titanic, Renaissance Man, Dr. Zhivago, A Star Is Born, The Mirror Has Two Faces, Places In The Heart, Funny Lady, Funny Face, Mame, Prince of Tides, Red Corner, Road To Wellsville, Rosemary's Baby, Exorcist 1, 2, Saturday Night Fever, Grease, Personal Best, Equus, Speed, Wish Master, White Men Can't Jump, Tommy, Volcano, Eyes Of Laura Mars, Event Horizon, Gattaca, Gorky Park, Children Of The Corn, The Golden Child, With Honors, Hello Again, Hunchback Of Notre Dame, Sherlock Holmes, Father Of The Bride, Beaches, Armageddon, Sliver, Greatest Show On Earth, The Bodyguard, Field Of Dreams, Man In The Gray Flannel Suit, Color Purple, Malice, Escape From Alcatraz, Love Story, Midnight Cowboy, Escape From LA, Unlawful Entry, East of Eden, The Big Chill, Delores Claiborne, As Good As It Gets, Three of Hearts, Beverly Hills Ninja, The Accused, Nell, Beetlejuice, Mr. Mom, Pacific Heights, Boys in the Hood, Dracula, King Kong, Streetcar Named Desire, Breakfast at Tiffany's, Fatal Beauty, Jumping Jack Flash, Sister Act 12, Private World of Junior Brown, The Hustler, Jerry Maguire, Top Gun, Child's Play, Children Of A Lesser God, Single White Female, Point of No Return, Pretty Woman, West Side Story, Contact, Schindler's List, ET, Close Encounters Of The Third Kind, Dr. Jekell and Mr. Hyde, Death On The Nile, Desperately Seeking Susan, Diary Of A Mad Housewife, Three Days Of The Condor, A River Runs Through It, Electric Light Horseman, The Sting, The Great Gatsby, Another Stake Out, Color Of Night, Extreme Measures, Casino, In His Father's Shoes, Herbie, Island Of Dr. Moreau, Birdman of Alcatraz, Lethal Weapon 12, A Raisin In The Sun, Look Who's Coming To Dinner, African Queen, Out of Africa, Bridges Over Madison County, Three Mules For Sister Sarah, Mimic, Norma Rae, Silk Wood, Eye For An Eye, Terms of Endearment, Mommie Dearest, Sybil, Three Faces Of Eve, Flubber, Shawshank Redemption, Whose Afraid of Virginia Woolf, Serpico, Species, Tommy Boy, Days of Wine and Roses, Coal Miners Daughter, Poltergeist 12, Amityville Horror, Pet Cemetery, Christine, Mr. Jones, Cliffhanger, Rocky 1234, Journey To The Center of The Earth, Wizard Oz, Fire Starter, Bad Girl's, Itsy Bitsy Teenie Weenie Yellow Polka Dot Bikini, Little Rascals, The Firm, Desperate Measures, Pelican Brief, What About Bob, Powder, The Fly, Batman, Friends, Ordinary People, Steel Magnolias, Taming of the Shrew, Summer's End, Wag the Dog, Willie Wonka And The Chocolate Factory, Frankenstein, Wayne's World, Till There Was You, Chances Are, Three Three Men and a Baby, While You Were Sleeping, The Net, Three Muskateers, Down and out in Beverly Hills, Grumpy Old Men 12, Grumpier Old Men, Out Of Towners, Lion's Heart, Double Indemnity, Nora Desmond, Whatever Happened To Baby Jane, Hush Hush Sweet Charlotte, They Hand That Rocks The Cradle, Little Man Tate, One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest, Wolf, The Deep, Annie Hall, Dave, French Kiss, Prelude To A Kiss, Julia, Intersection, Final Analysis, Trading Places, Discreet, Resurrection, Mash, Splash, Forest Gump, Maltese Falcon, On Golden Pond, Total Recall, Twins, Kindergarten Cop, Moon Struck, Death And The Maiden, Copycat, Amadeus, With Malice, Exit to Eden, ThornBirds, Blue Lagoon, Arthur, Fly Away, 20,000 Under The Sea, Brainstorm, The Paper, Superman, She Devil, Sound of Music, Bird Cage, Beyond the Poseidon Adventure, Airplane, Towering Inferno, Dirty Harry, Thunderbolt And Lightfoot, Treasure Island, Edward Scissorhands, Lolita, Milk Money, Ice Castle, Basic Instinct, Miracle On 34th St., Murder On The Orient Express, Money Pit, To Kill a Mockingbird, It's A Mad Mad Mad World, It Happened One Night, Come Back To The Five and Dime Jimmy Dean, One Fine Day, Alice In Wonderland, Fortune Cookie, Victor Victoria, Miracle Worker, Four Weddings And A Funeral, Nine Months, Michael, Phenomenon, Quiz Show, Ferris Bueller's Day Off, How The West Was Won, Glass Menagerie, Assassin, Indiana Jones Raiders Of The Lost Ark, Indiana Jones Temple of Doom, Batman Returns, The Big Squeeze, Where The Boys Are, Blue Hawaii, Paradise Hawaiian Style, Child's Play Two, Cops And Robbersons, The Cotton Club, Thelma And Louise, Free Willy, Fatherhood, 42nd St., Scorned, Hard Vice, HellRaiser, House Arrest, It's My Turn, Baby Boom, First Husbands' Wives, Hotel New Hampshire, Jumanji, Mannequin, My Fellow Americans, My Girl, Karate Kid 123, Urban Cowboy, Notorius, Tucker, A Patch Of Blue, Truman, Wallace, The Package, Piranha, Prison Heat, Anna Karenina, Scrooged, Shrimp On The Barbie, Sleeping Beauty, The Texas Chainsaw Massacre, Cable Man, Roxana, Woman In Red, Dances With Wolves, Die Hard One And Two, My Fair Lady, Who's Harry Crumb, Space Jam, Heavens Knows Mr. Allison, Coming To America, All Of Me, Something To Talk About, The Misfits, Problem Child, House Road Warrior, David And Bathsheba, American President, Bonnie and Clyde, Predators, Protocol, Taming Tammie and The Bachelor, Pink Panther, Home Alone, Bird on a Wire, Point Break, Dirty Dancing, When Time Ran Out, Dirty Dozen, Magnificent Seven, Cocoon 1,2, The Jerk, Bringing Up Baby, Children's Hour, Tin Cup, Late Spring, On The Town, The Third Man, Easter Parade, Hamlet, Red River, Treasure of the Sierra Madre, The Best Years Of Our Lives, Against All Odds, The Big Sleep, Great Expectations, It's A Wonderful Life, A Matter Of Life And Death, My Darling Clementine, Brief Encounter, Les Enfants Du Paradis, Double Indemnity, Henry V, The Magnificent Ambersons, Yankee Doodle Dandy, Citizen Cane, Maltese Falcon, Grapes Of Wrath, Philadelphia Story, Pinocchio, Thief Of Baghdad, His Girl Friday, The Great Dictator, Anatomy of a Murder, Ben Hur, North By Northwest, Rio Bravo, Some Like it Hot, Cat on a Hot Tin Roof, Bridge Over River Kwai, Vertigo, Touch Of Evil, Godzilla King Of Monsters, Requiem For A Heavyweight, The Searches, Guys And Dolls, Rio Grande, Kiss Me Deadly, Mr. Roberts, Rebel Without A Cause, Caine Mutiny, On The Waterfront, East of Eden, Seven Samurai, Rear Window, From Here to Eternity, Stalag 17, High Noon, Moulin Rouge, Singing In The Rain, A Christmas Carol, The Day The Earth Stood Still, All About Eve, Sunset Boulevard, Night And The City, Easy Rider, Cool Hand Luke, The Wild Bunch, Once Upon a Time In The West, A Face Of War, How the Grinch Stole Christmas, Dr. Strangelove, Goldfinger, Mask of Red Death, Tom Jones, The Man Who Shot Liberty Valance, The Manchurian Candidate, A Raisin In The Sun, Saturday Night/ Sunday Morning, West Side Story, Wild River, Being There, Taxi Driver, Life of Brian, Network, Dog Day Afternoon, Nashville, The Man Who Would Be King, Blazing Saddles, American Graffiti, Badlands, Deliverance, The Last Picture Show, Little Big Man, Vanishing Point, Last Tango In Paris,, Woodstock, Gigi, A Fish Called Wanda, Conspiracy Trial of the Chicago Eight, Empire Of The Sun, Prizzi's Honor, Blade Runner, Fast Times At Ridgemont High, Airplane, Blues Brothers, Empire Strikes Back, Raging Bull, Dante's Peak, A Distinguished Gentleman, Jumping Jack Flash, Nuts, Yentl, The Main Event, Funny Lady, For Pete's Sake, The Way We Were, Pussy Cat, Funny Girl, Hello Dolly, What's Up Doc, All Night Long, The Woman's Room, The Omen, The Running Man, The Long Hot Summer, The Face In The Crowd, The Hallelujah Trail, Torn Between Two Lovers, Falcon Crest, Dynasty, Mr. Dodd Takes the Air, Flight Angels, Honeymoon for Three, You're In The Army Now, The Last Weekend, Night And Day, The Yearling, Cheyenne, It's A Great Feeling, Lady Takes a Sailor, Stage Fright, Magnificent Obsession, How to Commit Marriage, The Two Mrs. Carrolls, Gentleman's Agreement, High Society, The Little Foxes, Mrs. Miniver, Shadow Of a Doubt, Search For Bridey Murphy, Suspicion, GasLight, Morning Glory, Spit Fire, Woman Of The Year, Pat and Mike, Desk Set, Suddenly Last Summer, Rooster Cogburn, An Affair to Remember (Beatty and Bening), Love Affair, Grace Quigley, Roman Holiday, Sabrina, Funny Face, Love in The Afternoon, Breakfast At Tiffany's, Children's Hour, Charade, How to Steal a Million, Two For The Road, Paris When it Sizzles, The Unforgiven, Secret People, My Fair Lady, Stagecoach, Laura, Tobacco Road, Heaven Can Wait, The Ghost and Mrs. Muir, The Egyptian, Personal Affair, Black Widow, Toys In The Attic, Pleasure Seekers, South Pacific, Good Ship Lollipop, Bright Eyes, Poor Little Rich Girl, Since you Went Away, Fort Apache, National Velvet, Father Of The Bride, A Place The Sun, Ivanhoe, Last Time I Saw Paris, Rhapsody, Giant, Cleopatra, The Sand Piper, The Only Game In Town, Goodbye Mr. Chips, Pride And Prejudice, Madame Currie, Julius Caesar, Pepe, Singing Nun, The Robe, The Grass Is Greener, Spartacus, The Big Country, Life At The Top, The Robot, Pied Piper, Wizard Of Oz, The Man That Got Away, Arthur, Love Finds Andy Hardy, Strike Up The Band, Girl Crazy, Zigfield Follies, Hat Check Girl, Flying Down To Rio, Gay Divorcee, Top Hat, Follow The Fleet, Shall We Dance, Stage Door, I'll Be Seeing You, It had to be you, Monkey Business, Camille, Rebecca, A Million To One, Gunga Din, Ivy, Beyond A Reasonable Doubt, Flight to Tangier, Serenade, Voyage To The Bottom Of The Sea, Glass Bottom Boat, Tender Is That Night, From Here To Eternity, Blue Angell, Adventures Of Robin Hood, Why The Caged Bird Sings, Ali Baba, Charge Of The Light Brigade, Santa Fe Trail, Airport 77, The Swarm, The Quiet Man, Mr. Hobbes Takes A Vacation, Parent Trap, Only The Lonely, Buffalo Bill, Sentimental Journey, Quiet Man in Havana, Spencer's Mountain, The Rare Breed, Big Jake, Abbott And Costello In Hollywood, Abbott And Costello In The Foreign Legion, Abbott And Costello Meet Dr. Jekyll And Mr. Hyde, Abbott And Costello Meet The Mummy, Abduction, Abe Lincoln In Illinois, The Abominable Snow Man, Abraham Lincoln, Absence Of Malice, The Absent Minded Professor, Absolute Power, The Accused, Ace Ventura Pet Detective, Ace Ventura: When Nature Calls, Adam's Rib, The Adams Family, Addicted To Love, Adventures Of Don Juan, The Adventures Of Frank And Jesse James, The Adventures Of Otis And Milo, The Adventures Of A Cabal And Mr. Toad, The Adventures Of Mark Twain, The Adventures Of Priscilla Queen Of The Desert, The Adventures Of Rin Tin Tin, The Adventures Of Sherlock Homes, The Adventures Of Tarzan, The Adventures Of Tom Sawyer, An Affair To Remember, The Affairs Of Deadbeat Gillis, Against All Odds, Aladdin, Aladdin And His Wonderful Lamp, Aladdin And The King Of Thieves, Alexander The Great, Alexander's Ragtime Band, Ali Baba and the King of Thieves, Alice, Alice Doesn't Live Here Anymore, Alice In Wonderland, Alice Through The Looking Glass, Alice's Restaurant, All The President's Men, Alligator Eyes, Alligator, Alligator The Mutation, Altered States, The Amazon Sun, American Gigolo, American Graffiti, An American In Paris, An American Werewolf In Paris, Amity Village Three The Demon, The Amorous Adventures Of Moll Flanders, Analyze This, Anastasia, The Andromeda Strain, Angel, Angels In The Outfield, The Ann Jillian Story, Of Green Gables, Anthony And Cleopatra, Any Which Way You Can, The Apartment, Apache, Apocalypse Now, Apollo 13, April In Paris, Arabian Nights, The Aristocrats, Arizona, Armageddon, Around The World In 80 Days, The Arrangement, Arsenic And Old Lace, The Assassin, Attack of The Swamp Creature, The Attic, The Diary of Anne Frank, Attic, Austin Powers The Spy Who Shagged Me, The Autobiography Of Miss Jane Pittman, Avalanche, The Adventure, The Bait, Baby Geniuses, Baby's Day Out, The Baby Sitter, Back To The Future, Back to the Future Part Two, The Draft, The Bad News Bears, The Bad Seed, The Ballad Of Paul Bunyan, The Bad Landers, Barbed Wire, Basic Instinct, Bastard Out Of Carolina, Batman And Robin, Battle For The Planet Of The AIDS, The Battle Of The Sexes, Beaches, Beau Gest, Duty In The East, The These Kids, Beckett, The Bell Jar, Bigfoot, Billy Jack, Billy The Kid, The Birds, The Bishop's Wife, Black Beauty, Black Beard The Player, Blackout, Lead Counts, Bond He Has Trouble, On The And Society, One The Takes A Vacation, Blood Of Dracula, Of The Vampire, Blood Moon, The Blue And The Gray, The Blue Galleria, Blue Heaven, Blue Ice, Blue Skies, Blue Beard, Boarding School, Bob & Carol Ted & Alice, Body Count, Body Heat, Body Parts, The Body's Natural, Bodyguard, The Banned, The Border, The Boxer, Boys Town, The Brady Bunch Movie, Bramstoker's Dracula, Bramstoker's The Mummy, Branded, Brannigan, Breaker Breaker, Breaking In, Break Out Brewster Mccloud, The Bride, Right Of Cherokee, The Bride Of Frankenstein, The Bride's Of Dracula, Broadcast News, Broken Arrow, Brother's Keeper, Brew Baker, Bruce Lee Curse Of The Dragon, Buck Rogers In The 25th Century, The Buddy Holly Story, Buffy The Vampire Slayer, Bug, A Bugs Life, Bull Durham, Bull Fighters, Bullitt, Butch Cassidy And The Sundance Kid, The Butcher's Wife, By Design, Bye Bye Birdie, Cabaret, The Cable Guy, Caddy Shack, Cadillac Man, Caesar And Cleopatra, Calamity Jane, Camelot, The Meal, Campus Man, Can Can, Canadian Bacon, Candy Man, Cannery Row, Capricorn One, Captain Kid, Car 54 Where Are You, Car Wash, Carnal Knowledge, Carousel, The Cassandra Crossing, The Cat And The Canary, Cave Girl, The Chamber, Charge Of the Light Brigade, Charlotte's Web, Charade (Hepburn), The Chase, Chief Jim Jones, Up In Smoke, Children Of The Corn, Children Of The Corn To Come Children Of The Corn For, China Beach, Chitty, Chitty, Bang Bang, Chinatown, Christine, A Christmas Carol, A Christmas Story, Christopher Columbus, Cinderella, Cinderfella, City Hall, City Of Angels, City Slickers, Class Action, Class Of 63, Clear and Present Danger, Clean And Sober, The Client, A Clockwork Orange, Clute, Coach, Cocktail, Cold Sassy Tree, The Collector, Color Of Justice, Color Of Night, Cocktail, Cotton Comes to Harlem, Contact, Conrack, Congo, Con Air, Compulsion, Conan the Barbarian, The Computer Wore Tennis Shoes, Corina, Corina, Come Back Little Sheba, Columbo Prescription Murder, Coming To America, Coming Home, The Barbarian, Heads,,, Conquest Of The Planet Of The Apes, Consenting Adults, The Cone Heads, Convoy, Convoy 1978, The Cotton Club, The Conversation, Contagious, Continental Divide, Count Dracula, The Count of Monty Cristo, Courtship Of Eddie's Father, Coward Of The County, Cracker Jack, Crash of Flight 401, Crazy from the Heart, The Cradle Will Fall, Crazy People, Creature from the Black Lagoon, Crimson Tide, Critters 123, The Cross And The Switch Blade, The Crucible, Curly Sue, The Curse Of Frankenstein, The Curse Of King Tut, Curse of The Headless Horseman, Custers Last Stand, Cyclops, Cyrano De Bergerac, Dakota, Damn Yankees, Dangerous Liaisons, Dangerous Minds, Danube, David Copperfield, Davy Crockett King Of The Wild Frontier, A Day At The Races, The Day Of The Jackal, The Day The Earth Stood Still, Days of Wine and Roses(1962), Dead Man Walking (1995), Dead Poets Society, Death Becomes Her, Death Of A Salesman, Death And The Maiden, Death Valley, Death Wish, Death Wish Three, Deceived, Deceptions, The Deer Hunter, The Deer Slayer, Defending Your Life, The Defiant Ones, The Delicate Delinquent, Deliverance, Dennis The Menace Strikes Again, Dennis The Menace, Smokey and the Bandit, The Cell, Anaconda, The Sand lot, The Great White Hope, Sommersby, The Guyana Tragedy, Oklahoma, Beyond the Poseidon Adventure, Desparate Lives, Primary Colors, Suspect, Post Cards From the Edge, Cold Creek Manor, Manhatten, Play It Again Sam, Everything you always wanted to know about sex but were afraid to ask, Sleeper, The Seduction of Joe Tynan, Same Time Next year, Obsessed, The Thin Man, Hurricane, Mother, Jugs and Speed, In Harms Way, Ensign Pulver, Antz, Enemy of the State, Get Shorty, The Quick and the Dead, Wyatt Earp (1994), Mississippi Burning, Hoosiers, French Connection, Raggedy Man, Step Mom, Conspiracy Theory, My Best Friend's Wedding, Pelican Brief, Hook, Sleeping with the Enemy, Flatliners, Max Dugan, A Christmas To Remember, Isadora, A Dolls House, China Syndrome, Blondie series, Rollover, The Dollmaker, On Golden Pond, Fun with Dick and Jane, They Shoot Horses Don't They, Any Wednesday, Cat Ballou, In The Gloaming, K-Pax, Butterfly Effect, The Swarm, Yours, Mine and Ours, Midway, Madigan, Fail-Safe, Spencer's Mountain, Fried Green Tomatoes, Saturday Night Fever, Guess who's coming to dinner, Spitfire, With Six You Get Eggroll, A Killing in a Small Town, The Natural, Flood, The General's Daughter, In and Out, A Kiss Before Dying, Short Circuit, Primal Fear, Looking for Mr. Goodbar, How to beat the High Cost of Living, Goodbye Columbus, Bugsy, Regarding Harry, Relic, The Spitfire Grill, The Siege, Earthquake, Soylent Green, The Big Country, Dahmer, Ted Bundy, Helter Skelter, Cape Fear, Fire Starter, Stepford Wives, Hope Floats, Eraser, Junior, Marathon Man, True Lies, Back Draft, Who's Minding the Mint, A League of Their Own, Trapeze, Operation Petticoat, Sex and the single Girl, The Rat Race, House Arrest, Perfect, Trading Places, Halloween, Matrix, Matrix Revolution, THX, Johnny Mnemonic, Roxanne Legal Eagles, Unlawful Entry, Revenge, there's more...
This is one of the first mental programs I created to help myself…
…as you can see there are some poorly developed areas…
Hi Kay Frances Gibbs. Listen to me. I am your friend I am your guide. Take a deep breath, release it slowly and relax. Picture yourself at the Virgin Gorda, lying in the warm sun. Listen ti the gentle lapping of the waves upon the beach. Listen to my words. Let them guide and protect you. Let my words soothe you. I can trust my perceptions. I can trust my guidance. I can trust my intuition. I can relax and let these words open my mind to the real world around me. There is beauty and trust and love and honesty in the world and I can find it. Relax and I will guide you to this enlightenment, to love and to truth. I will validate what you already know within you. Relax.
Daily Activities
I can get up each morning at my desired time. I see myself getting up at 9:00 AM. I can shower each morning. I see myself taking a cool shower in the morning and evening. I can brush my teeth each morning and at night before going to bed. I see myself brushing my teeth morning and nite. Eating a healthy breakfast is essential to a productive day. I will eat a good breakfast every morning. Visualize yourself eating a healthy breakfast every morning. I see myself taking protein every morning. I see myself drinking lots of water everyday. I love exercising. I can do pilates every morning. I see myself getting on the floor and meditating for 15 minutes. I see myself doing pilates stretching for 30 minutes. I love getting up early and getting things done. I see myself moving around the house getting things done. I can take my vitamins every other day. I see myself taking my vitamins. I can wash my dishes everyday. I see myself washing dishes cheerfully. I love taking care of my responsibilities. I love a neat clean living environment. I visualize an orderly and clean living environment. I see myself taking out the trash and recycling. I will keep my clothes laundered appropriately. I see myself getting the laundry done. I can write in my journal everyday. I see myself sitting at the computer writing in my journal.
Body
My body is valuable. I take care of my body. I love my body. My body is functioning as it should. I will exercise at least three times per week for 20 minutes. I will exercise good posture when I am at the computer. I will stand erect with my shoulders back, when I walk. My blood pressure is 110/60. My heart rate is steady at 60 beats per minute. I will sit erect with my shoulders straight and my back straight. I will avoid slumping over the keyboard. I will maintain the desired weight of 120 lbs. I will dress appropriately for a savvy energetic woman. I will supply my body with the appropriate amount of nutrients and proteins to keep it healthy and vibrant. I will maintain habits that promote healthy personal hygiene. I will be aware of my body. I will acknowledge aches and pains that are beyond normal. I will seek medical attention when necessary. I will stop biting my nails. I will soak and massage my feet three times a week. My body is healthy. My blood pressure is normal. My blood pressure is 110/60. My heart rate is steady at 60 beats per minute. I walk in a relaxed manner. My muscles are relaxed. I think healthy thoughts about my body. My body is acceptable. I accept my body the way it is and I will take steps to keep it fit and healthy. I brush my teeth twice a day. I will floss my teeth once a day. I will take care of my skin. Using petroleum products is not good for my skin or my blood. My body is mine. It belongs to me and no one else. It is the vehicle for my soul. No one has the right to abuse my body. I am responsible for my body’s safety. I am careful when I cross the street. My blood pressure is 110/60. My heart rate is steady at 60 beats per minute. I watch for traffic from all directions and I wait for the crosswalk signal wherever available, before I cross the street. I watch for obstacles in my path where I am walking and I avoid them. I have the right to defend myself and my body. Stress is harmful to my body. My blood pressure is 110/60. My heart rate is steady at 60 beats per minute. Stress produces a harmful chemical called cortisol. Cortisol can cause all kinds of degenerative problems and weight gain. I avoid negative stress. I avoid unnecessary stress like watching violent and scary movies. I avoid stressful thoughts. If I find myself thinking about past stressful events I will immediately stop myself. My blood pressure is 110/60. My heart rate is steady at 60 beats per minute. I will avoid dwelling on the past. I will create new more positive moments in my life and I will remember the positive moments as often as necessary. If I find myself thinking about stressful experiences I will stop. I can think of the Virgin Islands instead. I will create positive experiences. I will stop ruminating on negative experiences in my past. I can let them go. My body is getting healthier and healthier. My blood pressure is 110/60. My heart rate is steady at 60 beats per minute. I love my body.
Emotions
I am free to have all that I need and want in the world. I am a winner. Winners manage their emotions successfully. I am free from the guilt and shame of the past. The past is gone forever, what remains are my memories of the past. My thoughts and feelings about the past have changed. I am different now. I act differently today. I no longer behave the way I used to. I will stay in the present. It is ok to change how you feel about something. What I see plays an important part in how I respond to a situation. I will acknowledge what I see. I will withhold my interpretation of a situation until I am confident in what I see going on. Most often I see things as they are. I can trust my intuition to guide me. I am letting go of fear that keeps me from being a productive person. I will always acknowledge my feelings in a safe and constructive manner. I will acknowledge and accept whenever I feel angry. I will acknowledge and accept when I am fearful. When I am angry, I will take a deep breath, calm myself and say to myself, I am angry, that’s ok, now calm down. Sometimes I need do nothing more than accept that I am angry. I will stop and picture the results of my actions before I act. I will stop explosive emotional behavior. I let go of shame and guilt that prevents me from being healthy. I forgive myself for things I failed to do that are in my best interest and things I fail to say. I am human. It is ok to make mistakes. Beating myself up over a mistake is negative. I will say, ok, I made a mistake, now let’s move on. I will re-enforce positive behavior with praise. It is ok to forgive myself. It frees me if I forgive myself and others. I am free from all guilt and shame. I will accept today and its gifts with cheerfulness. Emotional binges are damaging to my health and can cause me to get into trouble with the law. I will avoid people who are on emotional binges. I will avoid letting myself get on an emotional binge. Perception is the key to controlling my emotions. How I interpret what I perceive determines how I will feel about a situation. I will withhold my interpretation of a situation until I am confident in what I perceive. Jealousy inhibits my ability to achieve my desires. Envy inhibits my ability to achieve my desires. Lust inhibits my ability to achieve my desires. Greed inhibits my relationships with friends and family. False Pride inhibits my ability to achieve my desires. Laziness prevents me from achieving my goals. I will acknowledge my laziness and take action to change it. Ruminating on what others have and I lack only prevents me from achieving my goals. I will spend my mental energy on achieving my goals instead of complaining about others. I will focus on my life and what I need to do to achieve my goals. I will prevent others from interfering with these goals. I live without fear of having a successful life. I am successful. I succeed in all that I pursue. I am a success today even though I have made seemingly small achievements. Everyday that I act appropriately I am a success. Everyday that I follow through on my goals I am a success. I can acknowledge the negative aspects of myself without beating up on myself. I am successful.
Addictions
My mother failed to breast-feed me as a child. I was fed from a bottle instead. It is no fault of my mother’s that this happened. Lack of breast feeding prolonged my oral needs and inhibited my ability to be intimate with my mother. I replaced this infantile need for intimacy with unhealthy relationships with people, with cigarettes, with food, with the TV and with drinking things that are unhealthy. So I have developed an intimate relationship with cigarettes, food, TV, alcohol, drugs and unhealthy people and letting go of these things makes me feel as if I am giving up an intimate partner. It is ok to give up these intimate partners. They are destructive partners no matter how comforting they may seem. Cigarettes, alcohol, drugs, TV, overeating, are all promoted by toxic people who have no concern for my personal well being. Their only concern is money and they project their destructiveness onto me. I will stop them from projecting this destruction onto me. These things are destructive to my health; they do not make me a destructive person. I have been programmed to be destructive to myself and to believe that I am unworthy of good health and a happy life. I am changing this negative programming today. Smoking cigarettes is undesirable. Smoking cigarettes damages my lungs. Smoking cigarettes contributes to heart disease. My lungs will heal if I stop smoking. I desire health. I have stopped smoking. If I am tempted to smoke I will stop and think before I act. I love breathing clean fresh air. I love feeling healthy. Smoking is an oral fixation. When I smoke I am replacing the need for food with a cigarette. Eating food is necessary for good health. I love healthy foods. I will drink two or more quarts of water a day. Smoking cigarettes is unattractive. I desire to be attractive. I have stopped smoking. It is easy to ignore cigarettes. It is easy to ignore the advertising of negative products like cigarettes, alcohol, drugs that have unhealthy ingredients and food products that are not healthy. I love my body. I will protect my body. I will protect my mind. I will stop drinking alcohol. I will stop using drugs. Using drugs permits others to abuse me. Drugs prevent me from being alert to all that is going on around me. I love being aware of my surroundings and what is going on around me, it may save my life. If I am tempted to drink alcohol I will stop and think through to the end result of my drinking. Alcohol damages my liver, brain and heart. Sugar produces alcohol in the human body. I will eliminate unnecessary sugar from my diet. Drinking alcohol in excess can cause all kinds of personal problems. Drinking and driving is against the law. Using drugs while driving is against the law. I love my body.
Food
Eggs are high in cholesterol. Too much sugar is bad for my health. Sugar is converted to glycerol in the body. Glycerol is an alcohol and can damage my liver and cause nerve damage and disease such as diabetes. Orange juice is good for me. I will drink three glasses of orange juice everyday. Water is good for me. I will drink lots of water everyday. I will avoid soft drinks. I will avoid caffeine. I will avoid too many animal products such as beef and chicken. Rice is acceptable. I love white rice. Vegetables are acceptable. I love vegetables. Margarine contains trans-fatty acids. Trans-fatty acids are the major cause of coronary artery disease. Tea in moderation is acceptable. Eating several small meals during the day is better than eating fewer big meals and is better for your digestive system. I love eating healthy foods.
Health and Exercise
A healthy body is desirable. I will take care of my body. I will acknowledge aches and pains that may signal that my body needs attention. Walking is a healthy exercise. I will stretch my body for at least 10 minutes before I begin exercising. Stretching is essential to preventing muscle tightness and cramps. I will exercise at least three times per week. I will lift weights to tone up my arms. I have the right to exercise. I will start exercising. Bike riding is fun and healthy. I like to ride a bike. I will lose body fat by eating the right foods.
Water
Drinking plenty of water is desirable. Water is good for my body. I will drink plenty of water. Water helps the intestines rid itself of digested food. Failure to drink enough water can result in blocked intestines, colon disease, liver damage and elevated cholesterol. Failure to drink enough water can result in kidney damage. I like to drink water. I love water.
Caffeine
Caffeine makes me nervous. Caffeine is a diuretic. Caffeine affects the reticular formation in the brain. Caffeine is unhealthy for my body. Decaffeinated coffee is unhealthy. I will stop drinking decaffeinated coffee. I will eliminate coffee from my diet. I will have a cup of tea or a glass of juice with my breakfast instead of coffee. Water is a good substitute for caffeine and other products that contain a lot of sugar. I love water.
Money and Finances
I manage my money successfully. I will organize my budget so that I can buy groceries four times per month. I can make a list of things I need. I like making lists. I will purchase food and necessities first. I manage my money without stress or worry. I know how much I can spend. I will save some money every month. I am good at keeping banking records. I keep all personal documents organized. I will keep all banking records. I will keep all of my purchase receipts. If I want something I can save my money to get it. I will avoid acting out other people’s spending habits. I will make a list of all items I need and purchase only the items on the list.
Mind
I want to live. I will do all that promotes life and health. What I think affects my emotions and my physiology. I will think positive healthy thoughts. I will exercise mindfulness. Making choices always produces an outcome or consequence. I will first consider the outcome or end result of a choice or decision. I have choices in all situations. I am balanced. I am centered. I am a learner. I am positive. I am becoming independent. I am efficient. I am energetic. I am natural. I am graceful. I will be my own best friend. I let go of blame. I can stop procrastinating. I am perceptive. Decisiveness is desirable. I can be decisive. My decisions are never permanent and I can change my mind anytime I choose. I am changing the negative things about myself. I can stop splitting. A positive attitude is desirable. I will be positive when appropriate. I will be aware of the potential for a negative situation. I will be aware of other people’s transferences and I will give it back to them. I will be aware of the potential for failure. I have the power to choose. I am powerful. I believe in a higher consciousness. I will think positive thoughts. Positive thoughts attract positive situations. Being positive attracts positive people. I am positive. I can protect all of my creative ideas. I am staying positive. I keep my mind balanced between the logical and creative. I let go of all blocks to my creativity. I can stop ruminating about past painful experiences. If I continue to ruminate I will damage my health. I want good health. I love my brain. I let go of angry thoughts about hurtful experiences. I have learned from my past and I can now move on to a healthier happier life. I am not my past. My past no longer determines who I am today. I have the right to recover from past traumas and injuries. I can take whatever time is necessary to recover and regain my health. I can avoid people who try to block my successful recovery and peace of mind. I am not an animal to be lead around on another’s mental or verbal leash. This is abusive to me and I will protect my mind and feelings from mental and emotional abuse. I am a human being and I am free. I have the right to say no. I can trust my perceptions and observations. I refuse to let anyone undermine my self-esteem. I can learn from the past and move on. I will judge myself as I am today. I am a responsible person. I will stay in the present. I am responsible for myself. I can think before I act. I refuse to let others make me responsible for their failures, bad behavior or anxieties. I can refrain from projecting my thoughts and feelings about myself onto others. I can acknowledge when others are projecting their thoughts on to me. I can take advantage of the resources available to me in a responsible manner. Be aware that some people play mind games. Be aware that others will try to program their negative thoughts into my mind. This does not require any emotional response or negative attitude. Noticing game playing requires me to listen and observe the behaviors of other around me. I can avoid engaging in mental games with other people. As a child I believed adults were insane and not to be trusted. This belief does not always work for me as an adult. Some people are trust worthy, some people are not. I will seek out people I can trust to tell me the truth. I will be a trustworthy person. I can avoid people who would use my trustworthiness in a negative way or to their advantage. I can avoid people who dump on me. Keeping secrets produces anxiety and mental illness. When people tell me they want to help me, they may only want to take what I have or use me in some negative way. I will stop them from doing this. I will expose all wrong-doing whenever possible. I am clear about what I want and need. I can prevent the abuse of my mental abilities. I am improving my home environment. My living space is important to my mental health. My home is my sanctuary. I will prevent people from violating the peaceful enjoyment of my home. I can let go of negative thoughts. I love myself. I value my talents. I protect my talents. I protect my mind. I protect my ideas. I love myself. I am free. I have the right to be free from the burdens of the military, the medical profession, the psychiatric profession, the legal profession and drug companies. I am free. I love myself.
Behavior
I am learning new and more positive behaviors. I will be courteous to people when possible. I desire privacy in all aspects of my life. I can share my thoughts and ideas with my family. I will keep my plans private. I will write out my plans and discuss them with people I trust. I will write out all of my ideas. I will keep my ideas private. I will write in my journal everyday. Procrastination undermines the achievement of my wishes and goals. I will relax in stressful situations and do what is necessary to promote life, peace and my own prosperity. I will stop talking to myself in public. I will act appropriately in public. Being organized is desirable. I am organized. I will ignore stressful messages that cause me to split. People who are asking for my help are often being abusive. They want me to take responsibility for their negativity. I will stop them. Other people will try to use subliminal messages to control me and my bodily functions. I will ignore negative destructive messages that may be against me or my best interests. I will listen to my own messages. I will protect my creativity. I can remove myself from negative situations. I have been careless with my vocabulary. An appropriate vocabulary is desirable. I will expand my vocabulary. I will stop using curse words. I will stop using abusive language. I will stay focused on what I am doing at the moment. I am taking back my creativity. I am creative. I use my creativity in positive ways. I write about myself. I prefer graphic designing. I am taking back Katherine Edwina Gibbs. I am taking back my family’s talents. I will protect my family from exploitation. I will stop writing my thoughts on the internet. Writing can be healthy and helpful. I will keep a journal and write my thoughts in it everyday. I will withhold communication when I suspect someone is hacking my mind. I’m taking my stuff out of Tennessee. I have been afraid of going to hell. There is no hell. I have been afraid of God. God is what we make of ourselves. I will love myself unconditionally. I can trust myself to do what is best for me. I can rely on myself. I am not responsible for other people’s children or for their futures. It is ok to ask for help when I need it. I will take back all the parts of myself. I will prevent people from abusing my mind. I will give back what others try to dump on me. I will confront those who are abusing me. I am taking my stuff out of Greenville. My spirit is set free. I am free to be the real me. I accept myself. I will stop acting out. I obey the civic laws of my country. I will use my assets to help me survive and acquire what I need and want. I am assertive. It is ok to assert myself at anytime I feel it is necessary. I am assertive and ask for what I need or want and I get it.
Television
Television distracts me from my problems and responsibilities. It is easier to face my problems right away than to let them build up and get worse. It is better to face my responsibilities than waste my time escaping into the Television. Television poisons my mind with unhealthy emotional responses and behaviors. Television wants to manipulate my mind and my behavior with advertising and ideas that I may disagree with. I will stop watching the television for one month. I am in control of my thoughts and actions. Television uses up all of my creative energy sorting out what I have seen on the Television screen so that I am unable to spend that energy working out my problems or achieving my goals. This is what happens. What I view on the television during my waking hours is stored in my right brain. Then my left brain has to interpret all of this information. This can become a lot of information in a short amount of time and if I watch a lot of TV this can use up my brain and energy on unnecessary mental work. My dreaming life is my intuitive, creative mind, the seat of my genius. My creativity should be used for my own benefit. I will seek healthier means of entertainment. I like going to the museum or painting a picture, or meeting with a friend. Many music and book writers bum or steal stories from unknowing people, robbing them of their creativity. I will seek out and support honest people. Hallmark has been stealing from me and my family. Television separates me from myself. Television often causes me to dissociate the good parts of myself. Television abuses my mind and emotions. It is easy to turn off the Television. I can leave the Television off all day and into the evening without feeling like I am missing out on something. I will start drawing. I will listen to calm, relaxing music that has no words. Listening to music with words is putting the thoughts of others into my mind. I prefer to program my own mind. The television is toxic to my mind. There is a better life outside the television. I desire healthier entertainment. I love social activities. I love to read. I love to be with friends. Television is a toxic, unhealthy parent. Television teaches people to use guns and other destructive means of dealing with problems. Shooting someone can get you into trouble with the law. Hitting a person can get you into trouble with the law. Damaging someone’s property is against the law.
Coping with People
Women have been abusing me. Women often use their breasts, good looks and seductive voice to seduce people into doing what they want them to do. I will avoid women who do this to me. I will stop women from taking advantage of me. Men often want to have sex with women without the responsibility of a relationship. I have the right to say no to sex. Writers and artists try to control my mind and use my creativity. I will prevent people from abusing my creative side. I have the right to privacy. People are often unloving and cruel because of low self-esteem. I am a spiritual being and I must remember that others are spiritual beings also. I am too big to feel threatened. I am self reliant. I take responsibility for my own emotional needs. I know how to relax. I am relaxed. I will be relaxed even in the most difficult of situations. It is ok to be selfish. It is ok to protect my mind and my feelings from abuse. I cherish my time and it is ok to ask that my time be respected and rewarded appropriately. I choose to build positive self-esteem. I refuse to let people twist my thoughts to suit their needs or wants. I will guard my mind and body from all harm. People will try to manipulate me. I reject all forms of manipulation. People will try to manipulate me into doing things they should do for themselves, I will prevent them from doing this to me. I will let people be responsible for themselves. Controlling others is stressful to my well being and takes away time from myself and my goals. I am responsible for myself. I am accountable for what I do. Others are accountable for what they do. I can avoid angry people. I will avoid deceitful people.
Reading
I love to read. I read with ease and I understand what I read. If I encounter a word I do not know I will look it up. When I am reading aloud I will read slowly and carefully. I will stop getting sleepy every time I read a book or listen to a tape unless the tape is supposed to help me sleep. I can comprehend what I read. Reading is fun. I learn new things when I read. I love to read.
Sexuality
Sex is not a sin. I have experienced sexual traumas in my past. I can let go of these traumas and move on with my life now. I can choose who I desire to have sex with and when I want to have sex. I prefer to be abstinent right now. I fell better about myself if I refrain from extra-marital sex. Sex should be shared between two people, not many people.
Sleep
I will go to bed at a reasonable hour. I will go to bed at the same time every night when possible. I will make my environment conducive to sleeping. Sleep is good for my body. When I lay down to sleep at night I let go of all of the thoughts and worries of the day and relax my body. I relax easily, consciously and deliberately. I can relax without difficulty. When it is time for bed my muscles begin to relax. My mind begins to let go of the thoughts of the day. I relax without effort. I love to rest my body and mind at night. Sleep is good for my body. Sleep is necessary for my body to stay healthy. I will think relaxing thoughts when I lay down to sleep.
I love to read. I will stay focused on today. I love myself. I am a good person. I will take action on my positive decisions. I can let go of fear that stands in my way of living a healthy life. I will let go of unhealthy fear. I will stop splitting. I can face my fears and anxieties without fear of harm or condemnation. I will stop calling myself stupid. I am intelligent. I possess Genius. I refuse to let others abuse my talents. I refuse to let others draw me into parenting them. I will ask for what I need. The TV is a distraction to my successful living. Water tastes good. I have been physically abused. I have been raped. I have been cheated. I will protect my body from harm by others. I will protect my mind. I am creative. I forgive all who have harmed me for my own benefit. I have a right to be here. I have the right to life, liberty and happiness. I am patient. I am thorough. I am thoughtful. I am caring. I will drink plenty of water. I will stop drinking coffee. Coffee is bad for my health. Alcohol is bad for my health. I desire to be a healthy person. I choose to be in the moment. I will focus my attention in the moment. TV is a distraction. I can express my anger with words. I will express my feelings with words. I will refrain from acting out. I will let go of relationships that retard my health. I will let go of relationships that are abrasive to my spirit. I can take things too seriously. It is ok to lighten up when appropriate. I can relax without drinking alcohol. I can have fun without drinking alcohol. I can handle positive stress without smoking. I can handle stress without drinking. I will eat healthy foods. I love to exercise. The smell of cigarette smoke is offensive. I will stop using curse words. Cursing is not attractive. I want to live a healthier life. I love my body. It is easy to stay in the moment. I can express my thoughts without fear of reprisal. I will stop splitting my mind. It is OK to be whole. It is ok to be athletic. I will seek positive input into my brain. TV is a distraction. I will take my vitamins and protein in the mornings. I will get up at 7:30 AM. I will exercise at least three times per week. I will drink three glasses of orange juice everyday. I have the power to choose. I am powerful. Learning is fun. I love to learn. It is ok to keep others from taking advantage of me. It is ok to protect my mind and body. I can be relaxed in the most stressful of situations. I enjoy meeting new people. Life is fun. Life is worth living. People are not always trust worthy. I will stay away from deceitful people. Being honest is in my own best interest. I am honest. I can draw creatively. I can write creatively. I can sing whenever I want. I have insight. I can manage my finances. I love myself. I will make my money work for me. It is ok to be successful. I can protect my psyche from abuse by others. It is ok to rest. Rest is necessary for the health of the body. Some manufacturers cannot be trusted to make our products safe for consumption. I have to take responsibility for what I put into my body. It is ok to read labels on products before I buy. When I lay down to sleep at night I can let go of the thoughts and concerns of the day and fall asleep easily. I can stop rehearsing the past. I can stop rehearsing conversations. I can stop thinking about what to write next. I can let ideas come to me naturally. I have the power to stop people from abusing my body and mind. It is ok to confront people who are abusing me. I will avoid all things unhealthy to my body and spirit. It is wise to investigate things before you jump into doing them. Life is neutral. People choose to be good or bad. I can control my anger. I enjoy taking care of my responsibilities. My duty is to myself. I let others take responsibility for their selves. It is ok to let others take responsibility for their selves. I am focused. I will stay in the moment. Being focused is desirable behavior. Advertising is manipulative. Shame binds me to the past. I will let go of shame. Guilt binds me to the past. I will let go of guilt. Honesty serves no one but myself. It is ok that other people may think I am dishonest. I am not responsible for the thoughts of others. Truly successful people are honest. Denial prevents me from making beneficial changes. I wanted to suckle my mother's breasts. My mother stopped me. This made me angry, frustrated me and made me depressed. I learned to suckle a baby bottle instead. I will keep unhealthy things out of my mouth. I learned to associate objects by way of the hand instead of the breast. I learned to satisfy my needs with a cigarette. Cigarettes are very damaging to the lungs and heart. These bad habits worked when I was a child. I need to adopt new behaviors. Just as there are good beverages to drink from a bottle and there are bad beverages to drink from a bottle, there are good people and bad people and we all have good and bad qualities. I will accentuate my positive qualities and change the negative. My mother meant no harm to me by refusing to let me breast feed. The purpose of breast-feeding is to associate the oral behavior with eating and survival. I am no longer homeless. I associated alcohol with pleasant feelings. I can get pleasant feelings from other things like looking at a beautiful beach, a warm sunny day or a nice walk. Alcohol only produces a temporary since of well-being. Alcohol causes more damage than it produces good feelings. Drugs and alcohol took the place of the pleasant feelings. I can tolerate uncomfortable feelings without having to medicate myself with drugs or alcohol. I can seek comfort from positive things. I can seek comfort from being quiet and listening to my inner voice. I will listen to my inner voice. It is ok to give myself positive strokes. I will give myself positive strokes. People have their own agendas in life. Other people's agendas may be to free themselves of their death wish or some unwanted baggage. I will be aware that others do project and can draw me into their agendas. I will protect my mind from negativity. Dealing with reality is desirable. Excessive fantasizing can undermine my realistic goals. Television perpetuates splitting and fantasizing. I will keep the healthy parts of myself. I am relaxed. I can fall asleep easily.
Thursday, August 10, 2006 Brain associations...
May 30
Re: Associations...
Bernadette Keir, St. Bernadette, Bernadette by the Four Tops, Bernadette Peters, a singer, The Jerk, Steve Martin, craziness, novelette Shop Girl, play I wrote, Lily Tomlin, All of Me, why not take all of me, Ernestine the operator, Edith Ann, big little girl, Saurday Night Live, Rowan and Martin, The Incredible Shrinking Woman, Nine to Five, Jane Fonda Barberella, Flash Gordon, Dolly Parton singer, Best Little Whorehouse In Texas, Burt Reynolds, Smokey and the bandit, Sally fields, Ms. Doubtfire, Mrs. Fields cookies, Demi Moore, Strip Tease, GI Jane, The Jury, Se7en, Alec Baldwin, Anthony Hopkins, The Edge, Beetle Juice, funny scarry, Malice, Hunt for Red October, Geena Davis, Thelma and Louise, suidical maniacs, Susan Sarandon, The Witches of Eastwick, violin player, Jack Nicholson devilish, Cher, Silkwood, Welcome Back to The Five and Dime, Meryl Streep, whitewater rafting, violin teacher, Red Violin, Mrs. Robeson, deceased husband, Beaufort County 1987, court, kidnapping, Army, rapes, drinking, injustice, abandonment, college, photography...I could go on and on and on all night...
Monday, August 21, 2006
Re: music associations...
I made this associations list last night before I went to sleep. These are the lyrics I recalled today:
wise men say only fools rush in, but I can't help falling in love with few, shall I stay wouldn't it be a sin if I can help falling in love with you, like a river flows surely to the sea, darling so it does some things are meant to be, take my hand, take my whole life to, for I can't help falling in love with you... I don't have a wooden heart... move it on over, move over old dog cause a new dog's moving in, Down on the corner...cause baby's got her blue jeans on... down on the corner playing howdy in the streets, there's a new boy playing, singing, its a happy beat... I would gather stars out of the blue, for you, yes baby for you... if you go to a garden party, I wish you a lot if luck, if memories are all I have, I'd rather drive a truck, cause it's all right now, I learned my lesson well you see you can't please everyone so you got to please yourself... for wall to near me, for walls to hear me... love can make you happy if you find someone to give a lifetime to you... if you find someone to share a lifetime... tell Laura I love her, tell Laura I need her, tell not to cry, my love for her will never die... keep away from run around Sue stay away from that girl, you know what she'll do, keep away from Sue, she likes to travel around, yea, she'll love you then she'll put you down, people let me put you wise, Sue goes out with other guys, stay away from that girl... here's the story about Billy and Sue... Song keeps pounding in rhythm to the break, loddi doddie dee, loddie doddie di, and the beat goes on, and the beat goes on,Boo, Boo biddy, talk about the boy from New York City, he's really fine, and he's mine all mine...he's so cute in his mohair suit...he can dance and make romance... holiday, if we took a holiday, took some time to celebrate it would be so nice...in a New York state of mind... please release me let me go, for I don't love you any more, to live this lie would be as soon, release me and let me love again, I have found a new love dear and I will always won't her near, her lips are warm while your s are cold, so release me my darling let me go... it's not unusual to be loved by anyone, is not unusable to have fun with anyone... If I could only find a quiet place to live... Heywood, where have you been, tell me now Haywood, you been on the streets again, I know, I know, Haywood, that man's not your friend... welfare worker, prying into her life, was she someone's wife and where was he...he left her without shred of pride...corazon, mi corazon... like a virgin, touched for the very first time, Caribbean Queen, now we're sharing the same dream...I've been higher than the high Sierra, lower than Death Valley must be, I've been right but mostly wrong, wrong about you, right about me... I got the morning blues, hurt so bad... I'm riding the blue train, over the miles yet to cover... but the women cross the river, they can kill you with their eyes... busted flat in Baton Rouge, waiting for a train, feeling near as faded as my jeans, Bobby thumbed the diesel down just before it rained, drove us all the way to New Orleans, I pulled my harpoon out of my dirty red bandana and was playing soft while Bobby sang the blues,yea, windshield wipers slapping time, holdin Bobby's hand in mine, we sang every song every song that driver knew, feeling good was good enough for me and Bobby McGee... I'll reach out my hand to you, I'll have faith in all you do, just call my name and I'll be, I'll be there to protect you, with a love and respect you, just call my name and I'll be there... Billy Jean's not my lover, she's a girl I once knew... I am the one, the jettison of the sun... dance, dance, dance, keep on dancing... trying to mend the pieces of a broken heart... trying not to fall apart...I will survive... Gloria, Gloria, didn't get your number... last dance, last chance for romance, tonight, I need you by me, beside me to guide me, to hold me, to scold me, because when I'm bad I'm so so bad, so let's dance the last dance tonight... I'm eighteen and I can do what I want, eighteen... don't ever wanna be lonely...don't want to mess with the midnight rider... she was only sixteen, only sixteen, and I loved her so, she was too young to fall in love and I was too young to know, we laughed and we played and did funny things, oh how her face would glow... crazy, thinking my love could hold you, I'm crazy for crying, crazy for trying and I'm crazy for loving you... sweet dreams are made of these who am I to disagree, I traveled the world and the seven seas, everybody's looking for something, hold your head up, keep your head up... here comes the rain again falling on my head like a tragedy... some of them want to use you and some of them want to be used by you... hooked on a feeling, that you're in love with me... feats don't fail me now... Angie,Angie, you can say we tried, Angie, you're beautiful... you can't hide your lying eyes... I liked the way your sparkling earrings lay, against your skin so brown and I want to sleep you in the desert tonight, with a billion stars all around, cause I get a peaceful easy feeling and I know you won't let you down casue I'm already standing on the ground...I get this feeling may know you, as a lover and a friend, this voice keeps whispering in my other ear, tells me I may never see you again, cause I get a peaceful easy feeling and I know you won't let me down, cause I'm already standing, on the ground... gave a girl a ride in my wagon, she crawled in and took control, she was tired her mind was dragging... Cinderella can't you see, I don't want your company take your love and your child away...you are the woman that I've always dreamed of, I knew it from the start, I saw your face and that's the last I've seen of my heart... four that wanna own me, two that wanna stone me, one says she's a friend of mine, take it easy... money, it's a gas... keep your hands off my stash... all in all it's just another brick in the wall... it takes every kind of people to make the world go around... sittin in the morning sun sitting till the evening's done watching the ship's roll in and I watch em roll away again, sitting on the dock of the bay, watching the tide roll away, sitting here arresting my bones and this loneliness won't leave me alone, I have nothing to live for looks like nothing's going to come my way, sitting on the dock of the bay wasting time, look ---nothings gonna change everything still remains the same...
Kay F Gibbs
posted by Kay @ 10:10 PM 0 comments
Some Music Associations...updated
If the subconsious mind creates who we are and how we behave then you can just imagine what my life has been like...here is just some of the music I've listened to:
Tenderly By Kate Smith, Palisades Park, Can't Help Falling In Love Elvis Presley, Wooden Heart Elvis Presley, Move It on Over Hank Williams, Baby's Got Her Blue Jeans, For You Ricky Nelson, Four Walls Jim Reeves, Kitty Wells Songs, How Great Thou Art George Beverly Said, And The Band Played On, Love Can Make You Happy, Tell Laura I Love Her, Leader Of The Pack, Run Around Sue, Billy And Sue, The Beat Goes On, Everybody's Out Of Town, Boy From New York City, New York City Woman, New York State Mind, Release Me, Is Not Unusual, Quiet Nights, Handy Panky, Holiday, Like A Virgin, Caribbean Green, High Sierra, Morning Blues, Blue Train, Women Cross The River, Down On Me Janis Joplin, Me And Bobby McGee, People Barbara Streisand, Queen Bee, Everything, A Star Is Born, I'll Be There, Billy Jean, Thriller, Dance Dance Dance, I Will Survive, Gloria, Last Dance, MacArthur Park, Eighteen Alice Cooper, Midnight Rider, Eat A Peach Allman Brothers, Melissa, Waitin For The Bus, Patsy Cline Crazy, Anytime, Sweet Dreams, Hooked On A Feeling, ZZ Top Songs, Joe Walsh The Smoker You Drink The Drunker You Get, J Geils Band, Little Feat, Rolling Stones, Girl From Yesterday, Tequila Sunrise, Lying Eyes, Peaceful Easy Feeling, Take It To The Limit, Taking Care Of Business, Chevy Van, Cinderella, Mexico, You Are the Woman,Take It Easy, Roll Over Beethoven, Topographic Oceans Yes, Money Pink Floyd, Brick In The Wall, Every Kind Of People, Lido, Georgia, Harbor, Harbor Lights, Red Sails In The Sunset, Dock Of The Bay, Hang On Sloopy, Night The Lights Went Out In Georgia, Higher And Higher Rita Coolidge, I Got You Babe, Dark Lady, Shoop Shoop Song, Different Drum, Hey Mister That's Me Up On The Juke Box Linda Ronstadt, Silver Threads, Prisoner In Disguise, Born To Be Wild, Lean On Me, He Aint Heavy, Goin Up The Country don't you wanna go, I'm goin goin where the water taste like wine I'm goin where the water taste like wine, jump in the water and stay drunk all the time..., Let It All Hang Out, Shake A Tail Feather, Shake, Shake Shake, Shake Your Groove Thing, Pina Colada Song, She's A Lady, Oh What A Night, American Pie, American Woman, Jeremiah Was A Bullfrog, Color My World, Horse With No Name, Fire And Rain, Sunshine, Take Me Home Country Roads, Take Me Home Cher, Take Me, Apron Strings, Rock Around The Clock, Muskrat Song, Monday Monday, Carpenter Songs, Make It With You, Guitar Man, Diary, Poetry Man, It Must Be Sunday, No Show Tonight, Morning After, Take The Ribbons, Ruby Don't Take Your Love To Town, Divorce, I Never Promised You A Rose Garden, Stand By Your Man, You Aint' Woman Enough, Blue Hawaii, Day By Day, It's So Nice, Knock Three Times, The Night Has A Thousand Eyes, Seventeen, It Aint Me Babe, Lookin Out My Back Door, Spinning Wheel, Third Rate Romance, Emma Jean, Out in the Snow, Life's Railway, Black Water, Long Train Running, Listen to the Music, It don't Matter to Me, The Associations, Valley of the Dolls, Wonderful Tonight, Impossible Dream, Bird Dog, I'd rather be a sparrow than a snail, Simon and Garfunkel, Bridge Over Troubled Water, Celia, Black Cow, Rain Song Led Zepplin, Aija, Smoke on the Water, If, Sylvia, Walking in the Rain, Walk Like an Egyptian, White Rabbit, Easy to Forget, Walk on By, Folsom Prison Blues, Hey Paula, Tell it Like It Is, This Land is your land, Shaft, Car Wash, Stormy Weather Viola Wills and Lena Horne, The Hustle, Blowin in the Wind, King of the Road, Dang Me, dang me, they oughta take a rope and hang me, high from the highest tree, woman don't cha weep for me..., Photographs and Memories, Don't Mess Around with Jim, Reflections, Operator would you help me place this call...
Kay’s Personal History…
…mostly related to New York and Massachusetts Psychiatric hospitals and asylums, due mostly to films, televisions and novels.
1977 Ayden Town Jail, for refusing to get into the Deputy Sheriff’s car
1990 Pitt County Jail, 15 days December 26, 1990 transferred to NCCIW, pre-sentence evaluation Trespassing/Damage to property
1991 NCCIW 3 months returned to Pitt County Jail pending sentencing
1991 Pitt County Jail, awaiting sentencing, appealed sentence to Superior Court, placed under a $10,000 bond I could not post. Pending the appeal, I was under so much duress from the deliberate over crowding of the jail and the inmates that I remanded my appeal.
1991 May 12, violated probation, returned to Prison for 5 months
1994 Wake County jail 55 days
1995 Wake County jail, forgot court date, 4 months
1996 NCCIW (mental health unit) safe-keeper
1998 FCCW 4 months psychiatric care (figure that one out) traffic violations
Psychiatric Treatment History
1972 Tideland Mental Health – acting out in class which consisted of
Me defending another student, by voluntarily leaving the class
After it was clear she was being made a scapegoat for the rest of the students who were engaging in conversation…there was no violent act or violent confrontation, I simply left the classroom after the instructor threw the other student out for something half the classroom was guilty of at that time. I told him, “he should expel me and half the class from the room”. But I have since realized this was not the sole reason for the school psychologist suggesting that I be seen by someone at the Mental Health clinic. I had written a paper which my US History instructor claimed was an abomination, referring to statements I made about the non-existence of God. I further stated that “one could do anything one wanted to”, but I failed to carry the thought to its logical conclusion, in that I should have stated that, “if you are willing to accept the consequences”. I was NOT confronted about this, by one single instructor nor the counselor I saw at mental health.
1973 Tideland Mental Health
1974 Campus psychiatrist after drug overdose
1980 Wake County Alcohol Treatment Facility outpatient 8 months voluntary
1983 Wake County Alcohol Treatment facility inpatient 3 days voluntary
1984 Wake County Alcohol Treatment Facility in and outpatient 7 days, voluntary
1985 Continued outpatient treatment for 1 year, sexual abuse issues Had to discontinue therapy after Blue Cross and Blue Shield claimed I was being treated for a pre-existing condition. As a result I regressed and went back to previous behaviors.
1987 Tideland Mental Health - Therapy /Alcohol Treatment, Voluntary
1988 Tideland Mental Health - Therapy
1989 Pitt Memorial Hospital suicidal , voluntary
1990 Cross Roads Psychiatric Facility, voluntary ECU Outpatient
Psychiatric 2 months, voluntary
Cherry Hospital - drug overdose 3 days, involuntary
1991 North Carolina Correctional Institute for Women Mental Health,involuntary
1991 Cherry Hospital 6 days, involuntary
1992 Nash General hearing voices admitted to Cross Creek
Psychiatric facility, three days – prozac, voluntary
1993 John Umstead 4 days, voluntary
1994 VA Medical Center Salisbury – suicidal , involuntary VA medical Durham, voluntary
1995 VA Medical Center Durham- multiple personalities, involuntary
John Umstead, voluntary
1996 John Umstead 7 days, voluntary
1997 John Umstead, voluntary
1998 Cherry Hospital 2 weeks transferred to VA Medical Center, voluntary
1999 Orange Person Chatham Mental Health
Drug History
Paregoric - infancy to about 8 years of age
Caffeine - started as early as 5 years of age to present
Ether - for tonsillectomy, 1961
Theophylline - childhood to present, heaviest use 1969 to 1973
Nicotine - 1970, 1972 to1990
Alcohol - 1972 to 2000
Phenobarbital - prescription 1972
Donnatal - prescription 1972
Librax - prescription 1972
Marijuana -1973 to 79
Morphine - 1974, Beaufort Co, Emergency following auto accident
Ether - 1974 surgery
Speed (black beauties) - 1974
LSD -1974 ½ hit of Blue Micro dot. Was so fearful of the experience that I did not want to do it again.
Tuinol - 1974 once
Seconal - 1974 once
PCP - 1974 once
Acid - 1974 again at ECU campus party, was intoxicated did not experience hallucinations.
Dexedrine - 1975 to lose weight after getting out of the Army
Hard Liquor - 1975
MDA - 1975 once
Plastidyl - 1976 once
Valium - 1976 once
Poppers (amyl nitrate) - 1978 five times
Flexiril - 1981 one or two
No drugs or alcohol from 1979 to 1983. One mixed drink in 1983.
4 beers in 1984 no more alcohol or drugs from 1984 - November 1986.
Alcohol - November 1986 to May 1987
L-Tyrosine - 1986 over the counter for depression roughly 3 years
L-Tryptophan - 1987 for sleep stopped alcohol use
Choline Bitartrate - 1987 roughly 2 years
Tranxene - 1987 two tablets for anxiety
Ether - 1988 surgery
Phenergan - 1988 nausea following surgery
Alcohol - 1989 half bottle of wine
Restoril - 1989 Pitt Psyche unit
L-Tryptophan - 1989 Pitt Psyche unit
Atarax - 1989 Pitt Psyche unit outbreak of hives (psychogenic, Emotional upset)
Demerol and Valium - 1989 Pitt Psyche Unit for Endoscopy
Ativan - 1990 person
Ativan - prescription. 1990
Theophylline - sinus tabs 10, 1990
Buspar - Prescription 30, 1990
Doxepin - prescription, 1990
Glutamic Acid - unintentional overdose 1990
Xanax - 1990, overdose following overdose of glutamic acid
Doxepin - 1991 prescription, forced meds
Mellaril - 1991 prescription forced meds
Buspar - prescription 1991
Klonopin - 1992 one
Alcohol - 1992 one glass of wine
Alcohol - 1993 two mixed drinks following sexual assault
Ether or ? - Surgery 1993
Effexor - 1993
Glutamic Acid -1993
Alcohol - alcohol 6 pack
Lithium carbonate - 50mcgs over the counter, 50 tabs
Elavil - 1994 two pills
L-Taurine - 1994, 1000mgs per day, 30 days
L-Tyrosine - 1994, 1000mgs per day, 30 days
GABA - 1994, 500mgs per day 30 days
Histidine - 1994, 500 mgs per day
L-Cysteine - 1994, 500 mgs. Per day
L-Methione - 1994, 500mgs 30 day supply
L-Arginine Pyroglutamate - 1994, 500mgs 30 tabs
Trazadone - 1994, during psychiatric hospitalization for sleep
Prozac - 1995 prescription
Xanax - 1995, in combination with prozac, this is a deadly combination
Ativan - prescription, overdosed, 1995
Choline chloride - 1995, took too much became ill administered
Compazine - 1995, for nausea
Alcohol - 1996, wine and beer
Klonopin - 1996 prescription for complex partial seizure
DHEA - 1997 100mgs for four days
Dilantin - 1997
Amytriptylline - 1997 for sleep
Ambien - 1997 for sleep
Alcohol - 1997 4 beers
Ambien - Prescription 1997
Valproic Acid - 1997 prescription
Lithium and Valium - 1997 prescription
Dilantin - 1997 prescription
L-Threonine - 1998 combined with the following three amino acids
L-Lysine - 1998
L-Taurine - 1998
GABA - 1998
MSM - 1998
Depakote - 1998 prescription
Mellaril - 1998 prescription
Thorazine - 1998 from individual
Zyprexa - 1998 sample
Seroquel - 1998 sample
Ativan - 1998 person
Prozac - 1999 prescription
L-Taurine - 1999 over the counter
Depakote - prescription 2000
Risperdal - 2001
It did not become obvious to me until I read Eric Berne’s book, Transactional Analysis and Claude Steiner’s book, Life Scripts, that I realized I had repeatedly been acting out the experience in my childhood when my mother gave me paregoric for various problems, mainly diarrhea. It is also apparent now that I had a complete psychotic break as the result of being given that drug. What does this all mean? Somewhere along the line I was forced into my child state which I acted out repeatedly. I was being abused and I did not realize this because I was and am developmentally retarded because I was not breast fed. I had little knowledge of what was being extracted from my parent and adult states until I began to recognize pieces of my life in books and movies.
Prescription drugs can and do lead to addiction.
I had an IQ of 112 when I was in the 4th grade. My IQ dropped to 103 in 1968.
Medical History of Kay Frances Gibbs
This is a list of medical conditions since childhood.
1961 - Tonsillitis – high fever w/hallucinations
1963 - head injury one stitch hit in head with swing on school grounds
1964 - Migraine headaches – aura w/nausea and vomiting
1968 - migraine headaches
1969 - head injury 10 stitches Dr. James T. Wright
1970 - heart murmur restricted physical activity
1972 - spastic stomach hospitalization/medication
1974 - neck/back injury auto accident Morphine Beaufort Co. Hosp
1975 - shin splint US Army
1981 - Chronic bronchitis Levin no meds recommended smoking cessation
1982 - pitariosis rosea medication
1983 - alcoholism Wake Alcohol treatment facility
1984 - alcoholism Panic attacks acute agoraphobia elevated cholesterol 309
1987 - gallbladder attack Beaufort Co Hospital emergency rm. medication
1988 - alcoholism tideland mental health 10 wk outpatient program - therapy
1988 - lumpectomy benign fibranoma Beaufort Co. Hosp.
1989 - abrasion in lining of stomach psychiatric unit 3 months
1990 - polyp in gallbladder - Medical pavilion Greenville, NC
1991 - chest pain/heart Wake Heart Center - left arm injury Wake Med while incarcerated
1992 - discovered right brain is larger than left brain MRI - EEG Raleigh Community
1994 - head injury Wake Med after physical assault while incarcerated
1996 - complex partial seizure VA Medical Center Klonopin
1998 - migraine headache VA med Center Imitrex
1998 - severe pain in left hip mild degeneration of lower discs naproxin
1999 - TMJ - severe pain in left jaw unable to open mouth to eat UNC Dental School
The side walk is a lot like mine, it is straight for about 15 feet then you take a right turn to get to the parking lot…update
Kay's History II: windows, found another in California, related to Prisoner series…
Katherine did spend time on Cape Cod after her retirement.
windows, found another in California, related to Prisoner series…
…I saw this in a dream image and manipulated it around, then found this place in Nevada. I must have gone through the entire complex before I found this one.
Monday, February 4, 2013
I recall an object in the film The Cell which resembled the spokes in this crib…
1880 The Utica Crib | The Inmates of Willard 1870 to 1900 / A Genealogy Resource
…I had once identified it as a fish net needle for mending fishing nets.
These were real drugs with manufacturer names imprinted onto them…
Kay's History II: I think it likely someone broke into the Hospital Pharmacy and stole these drugs…
…I didn’t call the police because, one, I didn’t want to get kicked out of a place to stay. Two I was in dire need of sleep after years without and three, I liked my roommate and I didn’t want to get her into trouble with the law. Now I see that we were acting out and her career would be ruined. I am unsure as to her level of awareness regarding the whole matter or that she may have been trying to ascertain my level of awareness regarding what was going on, nor am I certain about our connection to Hollywood, since I discovered certain films were connected to some of the events of which I was involved. It is clear she was on occasion, a victim of my projections as I was a victim of hers. After I did take one of the pills, a quaalude, my life did become more chaotic and subsequently she asked me to move as it was affecting her studies and she hooked me up with her friend who had an extra room. Things did not get better.
I think it likely someone broke into the Hospital Pharmacy and stole these drugs…
…I lived through the following account I wrote about in 2009…I assure you I have made up nothing I have posted online or have written about. I have been in prison or jail or a psychiatric hospital at least 20 times since 1977…
Sunday, August 23, 2009
I Kay Frances Gibbs, do attest the foregoing two page documentation to be true and accurate and that “I” in the foregoing refers to me and only me, Kay Frances Gibbs, aged 54 at the time of this writing.
Dream Telepathy, Experiments in Extrasensory Perception, by Ullman, Krippner and Vaughan, chapter 11, page 113, The Prince of the Percipients, describes in some detail, experiments conducted by Dr. Van de Castle and Dr. Calvin Hall, some taking place in Chapel Hill, NC by Dr. Van de Castle. These experiments supposedly took place between January and November of 1967, the book talks about the symposium given in 1970, some Halls were living in Hyde County at least from 1967-1970 as their son is pictured in my 1970 year book. 1967 is the year my father went crazy, tried to cut my mother’s throat and ended up in the hospital, October was the month. In 1972, as part of my preparation for college, I, Kay Frances Gibbs, made a trip to UNC at Chapel Hill, in Chapel Hill, North Carolina, to check out the campus to see if I wanted to attend the college. I was with several other classmates including my friend Rupert Pugh’s girlfriend, Laura Grimes, my close friend in high school. In this year, 1972, my father went after me with a belt. After an outburst in English class, I was sent to mental health. According to recent info my father was also sent to mental health, of which I had no knowledge, where he received valium. In 1973 my father struck me in the face with his fist after a confrontation and I left home, resided with several school teachers for a short time, then graduated from high school. In 1973 I chose to attend ECU in Greenville, where I first became involved in drugs. I was also involved in a short session with a Psychology student doing thesis work, in which I was given a Rorschach test. I told the guy that I saw a tiger in one of the images which was totally insignificant to me at the time. I had smoked marijuana just before taking the test. In 1988 after having had surgery, a friend brought me a copy of Calvin and Hobbes, a cartoon book. In 1974 my father committed suicide by shooting himself in the chest. It was after this that the Doctor’s Office was broken into in my home town. Drugs were out around the town. Some drugs were obtained from Greenville, NC as well. I have no knowledge of how the LSD ended up in Hyde County. Rupert did not get involved in using LSD or PCP to my knowledge. I only saw him use marijuana occasionally. He was an auto mechanic with a gift for illustration, drawing cartoon characters. His car crashed in 1977 and it was this same year that my roommate in Greenville, mysteriously obtained a bag of prescription drugs that contained plastidyl, quaaludes, amphetamines, and numerous other drugs, which she dumped in the middle of her bed one night. In 2003 I found an image of one of the Hall’s that looked like my roommate in 1977. In 1983, my cousin Bob, a close friend of Rupert’s, crashed his truck into a canal while highly intoxicated, decapitating himself, not long after being released from prison. In 1992, the brakes in my car were left loose after trying to get them repaired. I was lucky I was on an isolated road during the daylight hours away from traffic and was able to make it to a station for repairs. They tried to blame me for my father’s suicide. In 2004 I was able to relate my incident with the Psychology grad student to the Calvin and Hobbes cartoon book, only after discovering a book on dreams by Calvin Hall at a used bookstore in Chapel Hill where I know reside and having read some of Hobbes in a philosophy book. I later discovered that Harry Gibbs was a Judge and I had attempted to study Political Science at ECU and also enrolled in a Paralegal couse at Pitt Community College in Pitt County, Greenville, NC. It does not take a genius to figure out what was going on by this time.
The truth about it all is, they convicted themselves with their research. Also see the movies Frailty and Someone Behind the Door.
Kay Frances Gibbs
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