If you are a CIA officer who was working in Langley on 25 January 1993, then chances are that you cannot make the left turn into the compound from Dolley Madison Boulevard without thinking of Aimal Kasi, the Pakistani who killed two CIA officers and wounded three others at that intersection that day.
Intelligence in Public Literature; Thinking, Fast and Slow.
After I re-established a residence I began to write. I eventually discovered many of my problems were due to entanglements or enmeshments with other people. I traveled within the US after my first year of college, up the east coast and was in Alabama and Georgia during my military enlistment. I was quite ignorant of what I was doing to myself and as I stated I started uncovering history, novels and films at the root of much of my behavior. I wondered why no one informed me this was part of my problem or even a potential problem? I recently discovered I had acted out a short paragraph in the book, The Sense of the Sixties.
“This young woman-though she is no doubt totally ignorant of the fact-symbolizes something beyond herself. She symbolizes The Girl, the primal image, the One behind the many. Just as the virgin appears in many guises-as Our Lady of Lourdes or of Fatima or of Guadalupe-but is always recognizably the virgin, so with the girl. The girl is also the omnipresent icon of consumer society.”
This all sounds rather self serving to me but this isn’t the point of my writing here. I purchased the book at a recent library book sale. It also contains short chapters by authors such as Martin Luther King, Jr., Susan Sontag, and Sargeant Shriver. Apparently the reader is a Steinem follower and 60’s enthusiast trying to understand what the 60’s were about. A chapter by Cox on Sex and Secularization revealed the origins of some of my problems. In 1993, someone must have been recollecting what they had read in the chapter on Sex and Secularization in this book while in a dream state. In the early hours of the morning, in the middle of winter, after wondering around for hours, I decided to walk to the Our Lady of Lourdes church in Raleigh, North Carolina on Overlook Drive, where I crashed for the night. It just so happens that this church is just several blocks away from the community in which I lived in 1981 and where I worked as a landscaper one summer in 1984. I had never heard of the book so never read it. Was I connected to someone in that community who did read this book? I had been sexually assaulted just before this happened.
I was completely unaware of any psychic connections to anyone anywhere during this time, not even my own family. My sudden awareness was profound that it was a psychic event. I thought I was acting of my own accord. Did they know about psychic entanglements or that I even existed? I can’t help but think of Shirley McClain and her work as well. I read her book Out on a Limb in 1986. It is possible this person was located in New York I visited once in 1974 for a David Bowie concert, and was traumatized by the 1993 bombing of the World Trade Center that occurred around the same time, why he or she dissociated this content I then acted out in the early hours of the night. Could this person be connected to my deceased father who was stationed in New York on Long Island in 1939 (1993) during World War II? I did have a dream I recorded, in which I was an artist, got into an elevator and went to the 65th floor. The only buildings I know that are that tall are in New York and Chicago. It is possible this person also attended St. Bernadette’s Church on 13th Avenue.
The Sidran Press provides sound knowledge on traumatic re-enactments in their book, Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, a Clinical Review. This in no way means the book was traumatic but that events surrounding the time in which the book must have been read, anchored memories of what they read. I also found in The Sense of the Sixties, a chapter titled, In Defense of Thinking, by Herman Kahn. I wrote numerous letters and pieces of information before I lost my license in 1996. I wrote nearly 250 pages of argument regarding my court case and the loss of my license, and previous circumstances which I submitted to the Beaufort County District Attorney Mitchell Norton in Beaufort County, NC. I was evicted from my apartment February 1997, was it really 1993? I went to prison in September 1997. I crapped my head up before going to prison with TV and music but I didn’t know why I was doing it. After being in a psychiatric hospital for roughly a month I started writing again and realized the advantages to doing it. When I got out of prison I purchased a computer, taught myself PC and continued to write. I had all of it copyrighted. The collection included poetry I wrote while in prison.
Kay's Commentary: I was asked if I thought Gloria Steinem was subversive…
