In 1989, I drew a sketch of a samovar, only I didn't know it was a samovar, I had never seen a samovar. After seeing the sketch Susan Becker asked me if I knew what it was, I said no I didn't. She knew immediately what it was and so told me it was a samovar. She had been thinking about a samovar. This was a period of time after I had left the Psychiatric hospital after three months. I was severly depressed at this point but was beginning to feel somewhat better. This proves that transferences are real or that I am psychic, which do you believe?
Sunday May 16, 2004 10:21PM
I just remembered that during my psychiatric hospitalization I was also treated by a Psychiatrist who was Eastern Indian I believe, Dr. Satthapan. Dr. Satthapan treated me over the majority of the three months I was hospitalized. I was also treated on two occasions by Dr. Kolappa, who is also an Eastern Indian I believe. She treated me once in 1988 and once in 1998. I believe Eastern Indians use Samovars. Susan was also involved in a worship group called Self Realization Fellowship, which is based on Hinduism and it's practices. I attended a meeting with her in January of 1989. I am also aware of the fact that some of my father's familial relations are Russian (the Halls) and samovars are also used by them as well.
This can definitely confirm the fact that transferences are real. I don't think this means that I am psychic, I think this simply means that I am more receptive to transferences from others outside the nuclear family than most people because of the fact that I was not breast fed as a child and have not gone through the developmental stages most people go through, which means I could become a prisoner to anyone's psychic baggage. People like me should never be put in prison, unless we have this knowledge before hand.
Samovar
On another occasion Susan and I went to a park in Wilson, NC for a picnic. I'm not sure why she chose Wilson Park but it didn't matter to me. We passed through several thick patches of clover, before deciding on a place to sit down. While walking around, she suddenly asked me if I could find her a four leaf clover, and as soon as she asked the question, I reached down and plucked a four leaf clover out of the huge patch and handed it to her.
Now my question is, did she actually see the clover herself, and in asking the question, transfer a picture of the four leaf clover she had seen in the patch from her mind to mine, at which time I reached down and plucked it out, or, did I have some mystical spiritual sixth sense working in my favor, that enabled me to find a four leaf clover so quickly? Of course I was totally freaked out about it! I was still rather depressed at this time but nothing like I had been prior to moving in with Susan.
See also
The Letter Rent Receipts Becker charge
Affidavit Continuance
The continuance indicates that they attempted to notify me but I never received any notification written or verbal and was my reason for asking for a new trial date for the charges against Mrs. Becker.
And, in another experience, I had visited a website and had responded to a post made by someone calling themselves ladybug. The next day as I was leaving Davis Library on the UNC campus, a rather dreary, cool day and just beginning to sprinkle rain, much the way I was feeling myself, a ladybug landed on my jacket and I scooped her up into the palm of my hand and then suddenly she flew away. I know this sounds almost like the scene Carl G. Jung describes in one of his books, regarding synchronicity, but I promise it is what happened. There were several students who had passed by me going in the opposite direction when I rather loudly went, ooooo, ladybug. I was rather astonished because having read Jung's description of the events, I wasn't exactly convinced and it is one thing to read about something like this and quite another to have it actually happen to you.
This also confirms my suspicions that Andrea Yates may have been the victim of her Psychaitrist.
Kay F Gibbs
Sunday May 16, 2004 9:08pm
Back several years ago, when I first started posting on the EmmyLou Harris website, I had made what I thought was a rather astute observation about Harris's song Boulder to Birmingham, which was something other than the notion that the song was born out of the death of her mentor and friend Graham Parsons, which most of her fans wanted to believe, in addition to some unspoken fantasy that there may have been some romantic interest there as well. You know, it's that unrequited love thing, that people seem to be hung up on, hhhmmm I wonder why? My thoughts were profusely poopooed by a plethora of pugnacious repartee by several pugilistic posters so that I dared not attempt such remarks there ever again.
I knew of Jung's theory of synchronicity then, but I had never experienced it, or rather let me say that I had never connected it to anything going on with me personally. I was attracted to this song the first time I heard it. I bought the album, Pieces of the Sky shortly after it came out and played that song frequently. It still remains my favorite song on that album. My thoughts on that song at the time I posted it were related to the idea that it may have had some biblical significance, which no one wanted to hear. Graham died in the desert near a placed called Joshua Tree from a drug overdose. Why was he at Joshua Tree? If Jung's theory of synchronicity holds true then it could have been a manifestation of Graham's psyche, his collective unconscious. It could have been a manifestation of Harris's psyche. The History channel has just confirmed this notion as well, in their Documentary on the City of Troy. They stated that Homer was not the first to pen the Illiad, that in fact it was written before his time by many and passed down to Homer who wrote it in great detail. This is proof that the collective unconscious exists and that anyone of us could possess pieces of the past.
This is the part of the song that really struck me the most as not making sense for someone who had just lost a close friend. You know she must have possessed pictures of Graham which she could look at anytime she wanted. Now I know for the sake of making the song sound right lyrically she may have picked these words but I don't think so. I think there was more going on there than maybe she or Graham were not aware of. And this song surely ties in with her song, Western Wall, and it could certainly explain the sketch I drew in 1994, which I believe is a depiction of Joshua, because the song Boulder to Birmingham, along with the perfume name Sun, Moon and Stars triggered something in my own psyche.
I would rock my soul in the bosom of Abraham
F7 Bb
I would hold my life in his saving grace.
Eb Bb
I would walk all the way from Boulder to Birmingham
F7 Bb
If I thought I could see, I could see your face.
These verses to me sound like someone who is desperate to see the face of God, or someone they lost and didn't have a picture to remember them by. I chose to think of it as God.
I can picture Joshua out in the desert doing battle, fatigued and maybe disillusioned by his divine appointment to continue Moses's quest to save his people and lay claim to land bequeathed the Israelites by God, someone whose face he has not and cannot see, who commands him to do the things he is doing, that maybe he is beginning to question are the right thing to do.
Frankly I really don't care if no one believes me or if people think me crazy. I think that I may be onto something and it all seems to fit some things that have been going on with me and my family anyway.
But let me blow your mind some more. If, as I believe, Jesus was the incarnation of Moses and a member of the tribe Gibbar and had a brother named James, it is entirely possible that James Joshua White's collective unconscious contained pieces of the history of Joshua and the Israelites, and that I, as a descendant could also possess this information and that the time of my birth might have some significance as well, if and only if Jung's theory is valid.
I also made some connections to Harris's song Jerusalem Tomorrow, which I must confess I had never heard before making the comment, so I'm am not dismayed that I was poopooed on this one. I laid claim that this song was a response to Blake's Jerusalem, which of course makes no sense.
And worth mentioning is the fact that, in 1988 I had written a page full of comments in a notebook, which I later had no recollection of doing and did not recognize what was written. It seemed far more advanced than anything I would have penned at the time. After my incarceration in 1990, I was questioned about several things and the Doctor asked me if I had ever done any automatic writing. I had never heard of this term before, but then surmised that what I had written in the notebook was just that and I answered her in the affirmative. Unfortunately I no longer possess the notebook, but recall looking at the page that was written and still did not recognize it. Also during this time I was obsessed by a mandala, yin-yang type drawing I had created from two halves of a daffodil, both pointed in the same instead of opposite directions, done in pointilism. It was only in the last 10 years that I discovered Blake, who I had no idea that I might even be remotely related to (my grandmother was a Blake), used pointilism in his work. I still have this drawing in storage. I also have reason to think that Blake was the incarnation of one of the Sibyls depicted by Michaelangelo, the Erythraean Sibyl.
Other of Harris's songs that stimulated my mind were:
Two More Bottles of Wine - I had gotten intoxicated one night after buying two bottles of wine and passing out on the edge of the lake.
Sisters of Mercy - This reminds me of the nuns who ran the hospital where I was born, The Daughters of Wisdom at Maryview Hospital, in Virginia. During a period of homelessness, I late one evening found myself sleeping in an alcove of the Our lady of Lourdes Catholic Church in Raleigh, NC. I was baptized in the Methodist church and my father was an Episcopalian and my mother a member of the First Christian Church, so it seems rather strange to me now that I would find myself there instead of on the doorsteps of a Methodist church.
Raise the Dead - my Aunt Wanda Marie Weston Gibbs Jennette was 5 years old when her father John Hadley Weston died in 1949.
I also have an attachment to the song Michaelangelo. While incarcerated in 1997, to pass the time, I would read the Encyclopedia, something I had done as a child many times. This began after my father had punished me severely. I recall reading about Michaelangelo and how when he painted the Sistine Chapel, that he would go to bed at night with his shoes on. This is something I saw my father do many times.
Another song that had significance in my past was a song by Carol King, Jazz Man and Been to Canaan. I first disovered King while I was in the Army in 1975. I was severly depressed at this time and I desperately wanted out of the Army. When I heard Been to Canaan, I felt like I knew the song and the place and had been there. I didn't realize it at the time, but there had been an incident in my late adolescence that maybe the reason for my attraction to this song. Jazz Man just seemed to be an answer to my depression. Interestingly enough I now listen to Jazz.
More confirmation; in 1984, I met a man Denver H., who became my AA sponsor. I was depressed (a state I had grown to accept as normal) and to help me get out of my depressed thinking Denver got me to start saying things like, I am a beautiful, powerful, successful woman, which of course I did not believe, and was unable to understand the possibility of an entirely different meaning by the words, as in being beautiful on the inside instead of physical beauty, and of course this beautiful on the inside thing turns out to be some masochistic role thing you know. I did not know much about symbolic thinking at that time. He gave me other affirmations to repeat as well. In 1998 I resided with an acquaitance who had a habit of getting up at 3:00AM and writing in a notebook. He did this with regularity. I was growing curious about what he was writing but managed to respect his privacy until one day I just gave in and took a peek. He had left the notebook on the table almost as if to invite me to read it, as opposed to stashing it away as he normally did. On one of the pages I found the following:
"you are beautiful, powerful and successful" and some other remarks. This confirmed what I had suspected about my dissociation and writers breaking into your head. I had also been taking several different types of anti-cholinergic meds at this time, not all at once of course. I was extremely distressed by this discovery.
It is obvious that I had succomb to numerous transferences from Ms. Harris who had positioned herself between myself and my mother, which is the reason I was stuck in my child state. And I mentioned I was assualted while I was in jail in Wake County in 1993, by Laurie Dunston. The incident was instigated by Charlotte Harris Schmetzla, at which time I made no connection to EmmyLou Harris. I had seen Ms. Schmetzla talking to Ms. Dunston the day before the incident. I had no idea what their conversation was about and didn't want to know. The next day Ms. Schmetzla began talking to me and confessed that she had written over $2000.00 worth of bad checks all over the Raleigh/Durham area, because she wanted her children to have something for Christmas. Later that day she came to me and told me that Dunston wanted to kill me. I was shaken by the comments because I had not met nor said anything to Dunston, who appeared to be quite agitated after she arrived in the red pod.
The definition of the legal term Last Clear Chance :
The doctrine in some jusrisdictions that a defendant may be liable for the injuries he caused, even thought the plaintiff was guilty of contributory negligence, if the defendant could have avoided injury to the plaintiff by exercising ordinary care.
Conspiracy: A conspiracy to injure another is an actionable tort.
Corsey v. State Dept. of Corrections
375 So.2d. 1319, 1323 La. 1979
...the defendants own tort has produced the plaintiff's mental and physical inability to file suit during the period of tort caused incompetency.
Mental Incompetency recognized an exception when incompetency results from the defendants' negligence. Mental Incompetency that serves to toll the running of the Statute of limitations must exist at the time that the cause of action accrues, unless it results directly from the injury that constitutes the basis of the action.
Contra-non valentem agere nulla currit praescriptio:
No prescription runs against a person unable to bring an action.
In 1991, after my release from NCCIW, I bought a car from Washington Toyota in Washington, NC. After having driven the car only 50 miles outside Asheville, I realize the brakes are bad. The Dealer told me they were just dusty, after I questioned him about the squeaking noise they were making. I returned the car to them for repair, after much argument over the matter. I drove the car back to Goldsboro where I was living and when I hit the brakes, there were none. Luckily I was close to a station and pulled in. The mechanic said the brake line had been left loose. I decided this was an issue for the courts. After much research I discovered the car belonged to Rebecca Lou Harris. I also disovered the odometer had been tampered with on the vehicle.
Kay F Gibbs
Public - 9:27 PM - add eprops - add comments - edit it - email it
And to corroborate my state of mind, in 1993, I was diagnosed with psychogenic hives. I was having my first emotional response to having been beaten by my father in 1964. The rash was on my legs above the ankle and back. This is called a somatoform disorder. This was the result of being unable to continue my mental health treatment. I was stuck in an infantile state of mind, unable to move forward due to the numerous traumas I kept incurring over the course of many years, until the present and what I believe to be a dissociative disorder. In 1984 I had begun seeking treatment with a PHD in Psychology. At this time I began discussing the sexual molestations that occurred in my childhood, among other things. During that time I suffered panic attacks and acute agoraphobia. I believe this all stems from the fact that I was not breast fed and the psychogenic hives are just a symptom of the awakening ego and its emotional response to the traumatic events.
This was not my first episode of psychogenic hives. I had a much worse episode in 1989 at which time I broke out over my entire body and was treated with Atarax, while at a psychiatric hospital.
Public - 9:25 PM - add eprops - add comments - edit it - email it
These are the xrays taken of my head after I was assaulted in the Wake County Jail in 1993.
Skull Skull2
The second image on the skull2 link has a square over the right side of my head. this is to indicate the area where my head injury was in 1968. There is a small dark area inside the square that looks like a depression on the skull.
I'm not sure why they took xrays of the left side of my head as it was the right side of my head that hit the cement floor.
Kay F Gibbs
Public - 7:05 PM - add eprops - add comments - edit it - email it
You know, it's one thing when a man has to fight a foreign enemy to save the freedom of his fellow countrymen and quite another when that man's children have to engage in that same fight in the country their father fought to keep free.
I don't have a problem with authority, I have a problem with the misuse of it.©
Kay F Gibbs
Public - 6:42 PM - add eprops - add comments - edit it - email it
Look what they did to my grandmother. Her skeletal structure was not disfigure like this most of her life.
Public - 6:27 PM - add eprops - add comments - edit it - email it
