Sunday, March 06, 2005
Stream of consciousness...
Ha, ha, ha, I just made a million dollars off you Miss Gibbs. Thank you.
- posted by Kay @ 5:09:00 PM 0 comments
Update:
Stream of consciousness...
"...they set my mother up to kill that woman".
"...this little woman cannot work for us anymore."
- posted by Kay @ 8:04:00 PM 0 comments
Stream of consciousness...
"...your gonna getcha yourself killed Kay Gibbs."
- posted by Kay @ 7:20:00 PM 0 comments
Stream of consciousness...
"...these two'll get to talkin and put two and two together. We better keep'em
apart.
I just had a phone conversation with my sister and we were disconnected for no
apparent reason, both phones are in good working order.
- posted by Kay @ 7:18:00 PM 0 comments
Update 2: This is the one I was looking for I remember this…
- posted by Kay @ 12:10:00 AM 0 comments
Friday, March 04, 2005
Gooood Morning America...
I made some very interesting discoveries last night. First, yesterday morning I
got up and had a cup of regular coffee, and no this isn't going to be a detailed
description of everything I ate yesterday. Then yesterday afternoon I went to
Walmart and made a few purchases. I purchased a green messenger bag. I had been
eyeing the bag for quite sometime prior to this but never bought one. I wasn't
sure why I needed it but I felt like I had to have it and I wanted it so I got
it. After arriving home I began to examine the bag and wondered why I bought it
and decided to return it. Shortly afterward I was looking up some info on
hypoglycemia, as I had some sort of attack on Wednesday at while at Borders. I
had been perusing some books, had knelt down to look at some on a bottom shelf
and then stood up quickly and felt a bit dizzy. I knelt down again and stood up
a second time and nearly fainted. I became very nervous and shaky and my legs
were weak. I had had two cups of regular coffee that morning, an unusual thing
for me over the past three years as I have been consuming decaf for breakfast.
I was concerned I might have had low blood sugar so I purchased a cup of decaf
coffee in the store adding cream and splenda and started to feel somewhat better
and then I purchased a container of Orange Juice at the supermarket that made me
feel even better. So last night I did a little research. After looking in
Prescription for Healing, I discovered that caffeine can cause profound swings
of the blood sugar, so now I was convinced that it was the caffeine that had
caused the problem and I was indeed having a low blood sugar reaction. I then
searched the internet to find out what was in caffeine, just because I was
curious. I discovered that caffeine affected the reticular formation in the
brain. Hhhmmm, reticular formation I thought, what is that exactly, I've
forgotten…so I looked that up in my outdated Merck Manual, then in Encarta. The
reticular formation is responsible for consciousness or wakefulness. If this is
impaired then one could say that one might become unconscious. Hhmmm, could this
have anything to do with the automatic behavior I've been reading about?
Interesting.
I pretty much figured out why I was not being able to sleep at night as well. I
had consumed regular coffee for much of my life, even as a child and so had my
parents and so had their parents and god only knows how far back it goes. I also
love chocolate that contains a considerable amount. Consuming coffee was
affecting my consciousness or wakefulness and what I thought was alertness was
really just anxiety and nervousness. By the end of the day, after consuming no
more caffeine, I began to wake up as the effects begin to wear off after 6
hours. Then by the time I would go to bed I was wide awake or fully conscious
and unable to calm my mind, even with GABA. I had heard some people say that
caffeine helped them sleep but I thought they were just talking out of their
ear, so I decided to try something different. Last night I drank about a fourth
of a cup of weak regular coffee before going to bed. It is this delicious
praline flavored coffee from Southern Seasons. It is really tasty. I consumed
the coffee and 1/8 teaspoon of GABA (to help with the nervousness) at about
11:30 PM and then went to bed. It didn't take that long for me to fall asleep
and sure enough several hours later I began what one calls dreaming (but I think
it is just the activation of unconscious material from transferences, etc.). The
first dream was rather lucid. I was standing at a window and someone broke the
glass and was trying to get in my apartment. Glass was falling all over my head
and I could feel myself breaking out of the sleep paralysis and I was able to
scream "help me", that startled me and I started to wake up. I wanted to get out
of bed to see if someone had actually broken my window but I couldn't muster up
the will to get up, even to go to the bathroom and shortly fell into a deep
sleep again. I then dreamt someone was throwing rocks at me, big ones, there was
little detail to the dream. I could feel them hitting my body and the only
thoughts I had were the name Mary Magdelene, Mary Magdelene. I finally woke up
at roughly 9AM. I was alert and my mind began to work on what had transpired
over the past evening.
After rethinking the dreams I realized the first one could have been about a
neighbor who had disclosed an incident to me in which his bedroom window had
been broken, by a neighbor. This may have something to do with why I drank on
Valentine's Day as the offender has an active drinking problem. The second dream
I think may have been about an event from my childhood in which my siblings and
I got into a fight with the neighbors and we were throwing mud pies and stuff at
each other, although in the dream I seemed more like an adult.
So it is clear to me that caffeine does indeed affect consciousness, causing one
to become possessed by what is unconscious and to engage some form of automatic
behavior as in my purchasing the messenger bag at Walmart yesterday and
purchasing a Bible on Wednesday, as I do not need it and have access to Bible
Scriptures on the internet. This may be the cause of what I have been calling,
acting out. This may all mean that some of my other dreams could be connected to
someone else's behavior in a distant location.
In thinking about the messenger bag, I think there is a bigger cultural meaning
to what I was doing there, I haven't yet gotten to the bottom of that, but I
will.
I am also wondering now if LSD might affect the reticular formation as well
since it produces similar episodes. Maybe the stage of my development had
something to do with how I was seeing things when I took the LSD rather than the
LSD actually producing the hallucinogenic affects, like swaying curtains and
spinning light fixtures. Now as I think of it, the spinning light fixture
resembled the ceiling light in the operating room where I had my tonsillectomy,
as I recall looking at it just before I went unconscious from the ether. Was the
LSD experience what Klein called phantasy? Consuming coffee and so much alcohol
in the Army must have been responsible for the blackout I had after consuming
only 3 sloe gin fizzes, and well add physical exhaustion to that as well.
Kay F Gibbs
